I’m not opposed to topping autos, I’ve done it myself with good results. But I’ve become a bigger fan of FIM pinching rather than topping. I wait until there are at least 4 nodes, then give a good pinch on the new growth at the top - I don’t remove any plant material at all, just pinch it together firmly. In my experience this causes a lot less stress on the plant and still promotes more colas and outward growth. With defoliation I wait until the plant gets very bushy first, then remove the fan leaves that are blocking light penetration. I try to leave as many leaves on as possible while creating better light penetration. I usually wind up defoliating twice, once around the end of veg, then again a few weeks into flower. The first set of leaves I leave on until the start yellowing. Hope this helps.
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