I know exactly how you feel. Some place I read about wild plants and how they are subject to all kinds of weather, pests, animals, etc.. I started to feel more comfortable. I go in and prune or defoliate all at one time as opposed to little here little there. I figure if I'm going to hurt her; best to just do it one time and give her time to heal with out further stress. Now the shade leaves I just pull off all the time.