First, don't use a huge pot for a tiny seedling in future. If potting up causes a problem, maybe gardening isn't for 'that person.' I'm confident you can pot up without stressing the plant, because it's an incredibly easy process when done correctly -- enough roots to warrant it and enough moisture it doesn't crumble while doing it... easy-peasy to avoid rootball deteriorating, which is the only concern. Gently placing a plant into a large pot then gently covering with more medium is not going to slow down a plant. In fact, it promotes a healthier, better-developing rootball.
Irrigation in a proper pot is easier.
1) fully saturate -- if soiless, also get 10% or more runoff.
2) wait for appropriate dryback and repeat. (loss of weight or depth of dryness are two good indicators -- also the time between irrigations is a great indicator too)
You do not choose the volume to give. you give the volume necessary to accomplish the task.
When to fertilizer? Depends on many factors not listed here... How much nutrients are already in the medium? If soilless, there is none and you should be fertilizing every single irrigation with 10% runoff.
if not familiar with the charge of nutes, wait to see some mild symptoms before fertilizing.. and if oyu use the same product next time, you can start slightly before that point. Soil is more of a learning curve and requires more familiariy with the specif soil you are using. The pre-charge of nutrients won't be exhausted all at the same time.. you may need more P before oyu need more K etc etc.. this is something you have to learn, and if systematic about it, only takes 1 cycle with a soil to get a good ramp up schedule for ensuing grows.
Some soils may not need fertilizer for 6-8 weeks. Others may need it in 7-10 days. e.g. promix hp comes with a light ~500-600ppm charge of nutes when irrigated properly. This is fine for a seedling's first 7-10 days but a big plant will need more by the 2nd irrigation.
Irrigation for a tiny plant in a big pot is a pain in the ass.
water a small circly around it, but make sure that moisture goes all the way down. Roots turn toward greater moisture, but if you keep spritzing 20-30mL on top multiple times per day, guess where the greater moistuer is? up top. Now oyu are training your roots to grow upward, which is not ideal.
Just because things seem fine initially, does not mean that your bad irrigation habits will not cause problem in the long run... and because the cause and effect are seperated by a lot of time, many people don't recognize the relationship, but it's definitely going to cause complications eventually.
yes, even for autos, you should use appropriately sized pots. I've done 300 or 400 transplants, whatever the fuck it is at this point, and not 1 has been stunted from potting up and i don't expect that to change anytime soon... the chance of a problem is astronomically small with just basic competency. "transplant shock" refers to outdoor transplants that involved severely damagingn the root system -- cutting most of it off does that, but that is not the case for what potted plants experience when moving to a bigger pot. you are not damaging the plant in anyway as long as you don't purpsefully tear up the rootball while you do it. This is one of those misleading things that gets repeated and becomes a false belief among the peanut gallery.
It's understandable you are giving them lots of attention. That will wear off a bit over time. My suggestion is less is more. Stay out of the tent except when doing something productive and useful. Less contamination. Less threads from your clothes, less chance of dragging some pathogen or pest into your grow area. You are trating it like a 1st child and you need to treat it like the 10th child, lol.