Harvest time has come. It is difficult to kill a plant I have been raising so lovingly and with a lot of care as a wonderful living being that she is (and we all are as One). I even stayed up all night once to do a slow full 3x flush of the soil with emergency pH correction and buffering when I finally received the meters and looked at runoff values. It was almost like manually pumping a blood transfusion for a patient overnight. The idea to grow indoors came as a lightning and almost by a random chance. It was, of course, a synchronicity of a high order, because that flash coincided precisely with a rare moment where I had a small window of time to collect seeds of my choice in person and transport them safely and very quickly. And get extremely helpful advice from a moderately experienced grower, who helped me avoid self-taught rookie mistakes and pick an almost perfect setup for my purposes. Many steps I have learned only when it was time to take them, and since there's only so much I can do in a day, I got to some procedures like instrumentally checking salt buildup and substrate pH pretty late. I did monitor her leaves from the get-go, so leaving aside a light nute / photon burn of the tips, I think it went pretty well. Definitely better than I would have imagined! I wanted to do a small sitting meditation beside the plant before cutting her to dry. Wanted to thank the plant for this majestic experience and the healing power of gardening and caring for a plant on top of the medicinal values of cured buds and edibles we made along the way from trimmed fans. Those were unexpectedly strong and pleasantly smoooth. Wanted to tell her that I will miss her and remember her fondly, especially since she is my first full successful grow. The first time is always an unforgettable experience. Wanted to tell her that I do not want to kill her, and it was painful for me to FIM and shape her. A sitting meditation turned into a dynamic meditation when I started removing light gear and feeding system and cleaning the grow space in preparation for drying. Pretty quickly I noticed that I have a very real feeling of experiencing light- to medium-dose mushroom trip. I had vaped some 50/50 hybrid street bud half an hour earlier, but it was a very modest dose — shout out to TinyMight, you guys are amazing! — but no psychedelics. At that moment I felt that I don't need to say anything to the plant, because we are one and she had known my every feeling and intention from the start. And then I realized that what I had considered to be a sombre event, is just a transformation for the plant, it's next manifestation. Having lived as a plant, she will now transform into happy and healing experiences of those who will enjoy her flowers. This plant has supported me and helped me heal deep trauma and depression at least twice in my life over a period of a few months on each occasion. In between those healing periods it was just a get high and enjoy shit because why not kind of thing, and it didn't have any long lasting psychological effect at all, in stark contrast to classical psychedelics (LSD, shrooms, DMT etc). During those non-healing periods I didn't even have an urge to smoke all that often. I could easily not touch the stuff for a couple of months straight. My yearly consumption was in low single digit grams. Sometimes I felt that I did not enjoy the effect at all, it was slightly unpleasant even. Why would I want to blur my crisp perception to a gooey marshmallow state of cannabinoid high and scattered attention? But when it is time to do some inner work — and you cannot miss this feeling if you strive to tune into your inner state — god, is it a POWERFUL plant! I am very happy and humbled to be a conduit for this energy by caring for the plants and raising them. I respect this plant very deeply. --- Split her into thee parts by leaving only a few nodes creating the outer layer of colas on each level and effectively "topping" her a couple of levels above (or below, technically, now that she's upside down) and this creating a new drying layer/level. Tried wet trimming and I think I liked it. Will try to complete it in the next 1-2 days if I decide to go ahead with the idea.