Hi there again :) After almost a year off growing, making diaries and smoking weed I've come to realise that the thing I loved most about it was the process of growing itself, not necessarily the crop I had at the end.
It turns out my brain doesn't really handle THC the same way it used to in the past, nowadays its a 50/50 between having a good time and anxiety attack, so the solution was simple - start growing CBD :)