TFTC: The Purple Lemonade Cult

Welcome to all you wonderful people of the weed world, we would like to thank you on behalf of Jobbie studios and Mars-Hydro for tuning in, tonight we have a side by side story from our series “Tales from the Closet” called “The Purple Lemonade Cult”, So get your popcorn ready and enjoy the show. I was once called by another name in another life, but, that is a life that has been given up, a life of wealth and status, doing big deals with slimy people that were “respectable”, the word makes me sick. So I left it behind, took my money, and left. My parents found out about my plans and tried to stop me, luckily I had taken out a sizable amount of my money post surgery, I even managed to buy myself a place to start again: my destination was New New Old Amsterdam on Mars, I want to open up my own club on the red strip, a club that is open to everyone, a club for people to be free. The first snag to my plan was that the parents had blocked my passport, so no travel, luckily my girl Wendy; or as she was called in the BDSM circuit: Bendy Wendy, she knew some people of the underbelly and managed to contact a rugged smuggler who could help us. We boarded his Frankenstein's monster of a ship, it was old and very basic, but the journey was smooth having no issues with customs or law, and so, Wendy and I got off the ship at a way station near New New Old Amsterdam, the purple buildings on the horizon was our destination. Defharo the smuggler took me aside and explained he had heard about my plan, that it was a noble cause and wanted to give me something, he handed me a mysterious seed and said I should plant it in the club garden… what garden? Then he left us in the capable hands of Eleen, as far as we could tell she dealt in the best and most sought after property available on Mars. Eleen hooked us up with this amazing TS1000 Mars-Hydro Unit, it was so beautiful, smart looking, light, adjustable illumination and all the spectrums a person would need. Oddly enough in the club there was even a small garden biodome in the middle of the dancefloor for smoking, but how did the smuggler know. I ignored the seed for now, my business had to come first, so we went to work setting up the perfect situations: good humidity at around 50% and a maximum temperature of 25c, reflective walls and a light breeze so it never felt too stuffy, the new Mars-Hydro Lights would do amazing work with their adjustable brightness. The stages were set up for performers of all types, also a larger stage for live music, we soon booked a band and pain stakingly hired the best in both erotic and artistic dancing styles, then, we opened! The club did not start as a hit, it had become painfully obvious that there was something wrong on Mars, the free market style economy joined with the loose leize faire government, that was really just representatives from the companies that owned everything, it had made the planet a fascist state, things were decided with the strictest observance of what makes money, alternative lifestyles, they were not really a thing, it's hard to make maximum capital from people who are happy with who and what they are, the culture had become restrictive, you followed the trends and the latest product releases or fall behind. After a month the clientele had dwindled further: beyond the novelty of my club, no one was actually interested in something unique or expressive, a cause or a lifestyle. I found myself contemplative, sitting in a rather sparse garden area when I remembered the seed, what harm would it do. We sprouted it in a cupboard in the office, just some damp synthetic wipe roll in dark cool conditions. It actually worked , a small root began life, soon after that we planted it, the Mars-Hydro Lighting was perfect and the plant really began to grow, it was one good piece of news in what was likely to be a failing business. That weekend we had plant pot party, why not celebrate my only success, Wendy did lots of the work putting word out to people and we spent some of the last reserves on decorations and a cocktail bar ran by a guy called Yogi Boggie. Fully expecting the night to be another bust we opened the doors and discovered a line around the block, for the first time we had a packed house, people came to see the plant, and it was like the energy had completely changed, people danced people let go and the night was electric, it was as though my dreams had been uploaded to reality and this was it! We partied until early in the morning and then played the last tune of the night, no one had left, people were still having the best time, the the song ended, the silence of the speakers was filled by the noise of people moving to a rhythm, the music was gone and the people, they just kept dancing. I looked over to the middle of the room and saw a purple light being reflected from the buildings into the garden, and there, bathing in the morning light past the sea of dancing bodies, was the little plant. A chill ran up my spine. We would once again like to thank our sponsors Mars-Hydro for the wonderful TS1000 light, it has changed our grow taking it to another world. We would also like to thank you, yes you reading this, thank you for tuning in to “The Purple Lemonade Cult” We Hope you enjoyed the show and will see you again next week for more… “Tales from the Closet”. Notes: plant is kept in a stable environment between 20c and 25c, humidity is an average of 55%, as soon as the seed sprouted I planted in final pot, in this I needed to be careful watering, just to water enough so you don't end up with damp soil promoting mould. The plant grew well, but sadly did not have time to train and the person left in charge of watering was not experienced in LST. The massive growth will be covered in my next story installment. Thank you. The Mars Hydro TS1000 is really cool, adjustable light, low heat production, no or low noise and I utterly love how you can remove the controller and ballast? (I'm thick when it comes to lights), means even less heat and more control over your ideal set up.

Greetings Ganga growers and people who just like to peep in through the window at us lucky, sexy, amazing, courageous and heroic gardeners. We are back once again with our presentation in partnership with Mars Hydro, I hope you are all ready for another installment from our “Tales from the Closet: The Purple Lemonade Cult”. Will we find out the mystery behind Bondage Barbara's plant, we will just have to watch and see, so without further ado let's get on with the show. It has been a long time, a long time since I told you what was going on, so much has happened and as of yet my mind struggles to comprehend my reality, there is this feeling, it is like when you dream about driving a vehicle, it started as a bit of fun to just press the power, then to push it further to go faster, but for some reason you keep pushing until you hit max speed. So here I am, at max speed, with the world whizzing dizzily past me as I hurtle towards an unforeseen destination, like in the dream you push the break, but it feels like nothing happens and instead, you just keep turning one way then another to avoid obstacles, all the while harboring regret for pushing the button. But then, your mind changes and everything changes with it… Come friend, let us talk of the Purple Lemonade Club and how it became what it is. In those early weeks terror was just a word, fear and paranoia a feeling you felt familiar with, but not intimate as I am now. It was when Bendy Wendy was tending to the plant and working her magic, she was trying to soften the stem to give it more of a lateral even canopy, but then one of the club goers: whilst intoxicated with revelry and libations fell into her, there was a snap, a snapping noise that came from the plant and the entire club went quiet. Many of what I thought was regular patrons began walking over, I noticed they all had the same tattoo on their foreheads: a purple lemon that looked eerily like an eye. The man who had tripped was apologetic at first to Wendy, then his face and voice took on a note of sheer terror when he noticed the circle of people with the tattoo. It was silent in the club, they stared at the crowded man in the middle, he went quiet aside from a soft whimpering, the first blow came from no where, no warning, no verbal cue, just a whoosh and a thud, he fell to the earth next to the plant: Wendy by this time had rolled out of the way, the group did not stop there, they then kicked the man till his insides soaked the martian earth around the plant, the group then kneeled in the soil and covered themselves in blood and mud. The music began again when they moved off and everyone began to dance once more as Wendy tended the stem, it was broken, but not dead. How do you cope with such horrors, it felt like the club was slowly being taken over by a sinister underground movement, but not the movement I intended. After a while we decided to boost revenue by brewing some of our own booze, so we contacted a person named Alex, he informed us that this would be possible and set the apparatus up, he then rigged up some pipes to the plant and explained the CO2 that brewing produces might help. He also said that there is another plant in New Los Angeles, one that had created quite a stir. The club was open 24/7 and packed wall to wall: it got so busy we needed to install dehumidifiers to run occasionally and remove the rising humidity. There was a line of people waiting outside day and night hoping to get in. Soon everyone in the club had the tattoo and the people waiting to get in did not, a hierarchy was forming and I could not understand it. Sources had reliably informed me that this movement had begun to take over all of the clubs in New New Old Amsterdam, and soon after that, more clubs in other cities. During one of Wendy's routine jobs taking care of the plant, she was trying to flatted out the canopy again when she looked at me from across the room in horror, the blood had drained from her face, she was terrified. I saw her right hand, now bloodless, gripping the plant, I knew what had happened and without a word grabbed some tape and wire for support. We patched the plant up and it seems like no one had noticed. Then I contacted DeFharo to get Wendy away to safety, it was definite that any bending days were past. The plant soon after the second break began to create clusters of leaves and little hairs. A man with tattoo and robes told me it was the beginning of flowers, his face held a malign intelligence that spoke of future plans only he knew of… was he the leader of the people infesting the club scene? Everyone stepped around him and I knew his face from the early days. The plant grew, it grew and flowered. I got word that the man who had the other plant was now in jail for breaking company consortium ethics, this was when the government wanted to get rid of someone, they would make some shit up to demonise the person in an effort to legitimize their incarceration. One day defharo came to me and said he needed me to speak to the man behind the movement, we needed to break Jobbie (the other plant person) out of jail, the movement was big enough now that they could pressure the government to do this. The movement was seen as a large cult on Mars, it was called the "Purple Lemonade Cult" and it had people everywhere, so I found the man and put into motion pressure to get him out. The plant was old now, its leaves were getting yellow with sage age and wisdom. As it aged it increased in scent, this spread through the club where people seemed to become more and more fanatical about the movement, many paid large sums for entry simply to look and smell the plant. It truly had turned into a Cult, things were heating up, the lights were on full blast now and the club, us and more importantly the plant were under it, more and more people tried to gain entry but were discovered to be working for the authorities, these people never came back. I soon realised I had little control, it was time, time to let go and enjoy that ride, I was the one who pushed the button and started all of this, now I am the one who will let go on the controls a little, see where the journey ends and whether it will end this dream turned nightmare, but, to end it I feel there needs to be an ally, another person caught in a mysterious vortex, time to free Jobbie no matter what! Thank you Ganja people for tuning in to the latest episode of "Tales from the Closet: The Purple Lemonade Cult", and we would love to thank our partner Mars Hydro, we I really love this light, it has changed our narrative for the better. we hope you enjoyed the show, will they manage to get Jobbie out of jail? Is Wendy still alive? What is the scent of the plant doing to the followers? Tune in next week and maybe you will find out! Good night! Quick notes: temperatures have remained stable at 28c and lower, it has increased from an average of 24c to an average of 26c as the light is now at 100%, she has been on the Jobbie special diet: day 1 feed, day 2 water only then day 3 dry. I have steadily increased the liquid content and included a few days of high saturation where I just keep pouring water in until I know for sure every bit of soil is wet, this was done also in an attempt to flush as the yellowing leaves made me think I had issues… I don't, it is just a genetic thing that sometimes happens with some autos, but better safe than sorry. I took most of the fan leaves off and any that were turning yellow in early flower, now I am close to harvest she has been on water only for a week and no more leaves have been cut off. Humidity does fluctuate between around 40-65%on average, but I now have a dehumidifier to help curb this. She looks and smells good, just waiting for her to finish. Thank you for reading, special thanks to Defharo who keeps me inspired and to HappyWeeds who gave me a kick up the ass to get back to writing.

Welcome Children of the Cannabis… No one is allowed to steal that, I just came up with it and now want to write a story about it! Welcome Children, hope we are all ready for another episode of “Tales from the Closet: The Purple Lemonade Cult”, things last week were heating up, yes, by 2-3c°. Barbara now is looking for allies to help her work against a system that is trying to encroach on a movement that for some reason has managed to become sentient, will she manage to free Jobbie with her new friends? What is the plant trying to accomplish? Why do they have tattoos and what will the corporate government think of this? Find out the answers to all of those things thanks to our sponsors Mars Hydro… only joking, it is unlikely you will find answers to these questions, but we are still very grateful to Mars Hydro as their products help make the difference between standard and stellar growth! Now, without further preamble, on with the show! The Plant has developed dry leaves, for some reason it seems to be reaching the end of its life, the plant appears to be preparing me for something that I feel also: this movement, which now appears to be fighting from the underground against the cultural strangle hold ruling powers hold the people of Mars in, the movement is stronger than ever, despite this, it still feels like the heights it has reached are only one from which it will plummet, and this feels soon. Before any of these foreboding prophecies occur, it is time to use the strength we have gathered to do something, almost like the ending of some plants life where they work super hard to produce seeds to inable it to continue through progeny. The plant had flowers, big ones that were now a deep purple, the white hairs had turned brown, all of these bud sites were covered in a thick almost cloudy resin that looks like tiny mushrooms under a microscope. In my absence she would be watched over by Yogi while we were out taking care of business, it was time to take a stand, time to kick the hive. Defharo, Happy, Myself and some of the more influential members of the cult… cannot believe I am calling it that now, I cannot believe I am working with them. We met in a basement across town, a plan was drawn up there: many were to start protests in locations close to the prison, hoping to pull enough people away from said enclosure, we were hoping to create enough of a stir so that people would be taken from the prison to help deal with the disturbance, we had enough of the guards to be able to influence the choice of who would actually have to be present for either of the likelihoods: the government was lazy, instead of being a police state, they would rather hold people captive by peer pressure and fear, hoping people would never question the status quo as that might insight ridicule and ostracization, the plant appears to have touched people's minds and set many free, so what did they do with their freedom… join a cult. It was time to cause a disturbance, to shake people out of their stupor of conformity and rescue an unknown person held captive by a group of greedy and controlling overlords. The disturbances went well, in some areas we committed industrial sabotage: against any foe you need to find their weakness, loss of productivity would cause an apoplectic fit for any company, we made sure to hit all of the major conglomerates, this way there would be no opposition to the forces being brought out, then we held protests to slow down the machine used to protest us. Every able body within the police was called upon to help, including the private prison forces, now was our chance. We used disguises to gain entry, I was dressed as a scientist. We walked the corridors of this labyrinth they called a "detention centre", it was horrible to see what they were doing, people held against their will and without charge, all of which had been branded "traitors" or some similar stigma, with their rights removed the corporations were able to use them as test dummies: people had pieces missing from their bodies, they were poxed with diseases, torn mentally by psychological torture, it was horrific. We soon arrived at a glass cage with a man sitting on a bed, he was handsome, when he saw us he just smiled with radiating warmth. He knew what we were here for. We got him out, Defharo was going to transport him to a safe house that Happy had set up in New Los Angeles, there he could work with people we had used to infiltrate the grow dome that his plant was in, from this access he would be able to work with the resistance and free the plant for a Martian future. As we returned I had this odd feeling, like something wasn't right, I phoned Yogi. He informed me that things were fine, the plant was still fading but the big purple buds were thriving after last week's extra feeding of the CO2 supplementation, aka the brew tanks. He also said that heat and humidity were stable, that due to the flowers being near full development they continued to just feed water… it had hit me how long we had been away planning this entire heist. Then the call got full of static, there was a bright flash and the line went dead, I tried calling again but it went straight to auto answer, I tried again and then the call didn't go out. My automatic transport pod shook, the lights flickered, on the display in front of me a face appeared, a large round face with a lab coat over his shoulders, he laughed a deep resonant chuckle, on his face their was a maniacal grin, a patronising voice came out amidst the chuckle "I know it was you… enjoy the fruits of your labours, I know I will. Good bye". The transporter shook more and more as I could see from out the window we sped up with the landscape passing by ever faster, in front of us was a fuel transporter and my intended death. Thank you our dear friends for tuning in once more and a special thank you to Mars Hydro: without them my cupboard would be as barren as Mars. We hope you will join us again next week for an update and conclusion to the events transpiring in today's episode: is this the end for Barbara? Is Jobbie out safe? Who was the man on the screen? What happened on the other end of the call? Find out next week on "Tales from the Closet: The Purple Lemonade Cult", good night! Notes:- she has continued getting a bit brown, more water was fed as she will soon be harvested, the temp was as usual between 20-26c with very little change, the humidity between 45-65%, I am always looking for ways to stabilise these but then again the variances are what cause micro stressors and help a plant to be strong. In the previous week I had added more sugar to the CO2 production, the buds are looking good, so they must be doing something right. Light was on 100% and everything seems just peachy, looking forward to harvest as the buds look a nice dark purple and the smell is a pungent spice with a Berry overtone.

COMING SOON! Find out the epic conclusion to this story I five minutes when we upload the smoke review. For an actual smoke review, look at the seed review... or skip to the end of the story and read the notes. See you soon ganja growmies.