Overdosing Indica - Divine Seeds' Auto Overdose (A Noir Grow Detective's Log)

The Case of the Overdosing Indica: Act I - Week 1, Tight Quarters and Cold Shoulder The dame's already hit a snag. Seems I underestimated the, shall we say, enthusiasm of my current tenants. Ran out of pots for Auto Overdose, had to stick her in the smallest one I had. Managed a measly 5.5cm, not exactly setting any world records. But hey, gotta play the hand you're dealt, especially in this cramped joint. The weather outside's gone sour too, colder than a snitch's handshake. Can't exactly risk putting her out on the street in this climate. Stuck her in the grow box with the other dames. Feels wrong, cramming her like that, like a dame in a cheap speakeasy. But there ain't exactly a lot of wiggle room in here. Still, she's a tough broad. Pushing through despite the squeeze. Shows some promise, that much is clear. Here's hoping she keeps her green up. This week could make or break her, and this whole investigation with it. Stay tuned, folks, the plot's thickening faster than smoke in a backroom poker game.

The Case of the Overdosing Indica: Act I - Week 2, The Big Move (and Big Trouble?) Another week cooped up in the grow box for Auto Overdose. Outside, it's still a deep freeze, wouldn't want her getting iced on my watch. Inside, she gets the full VIP treatment - all the LED sunshine and warmth a dame could ask for. But that damn pot situation… feels like a dame in a corset two sizes too small. Cuts right to the heart. Finally, some good news. The weather gods coughed up a break last weekend. Transferred Auto Overdose to the big field. Fresh air, wide-open spaces - should be paradise, right? Wrong. The dame looks rough. Leaves drooping like a dame who's seen too much, roots dry as a sinner's prayer. Not the welcome I was hoping for. Gave her a little somethin' somethin' to help her get back on her feet - some leftover straw for support. Maybe it'll also attract some creepy-crawly muscle, the kind that likes to snack on those pesky leaf-munching bugs. Heard it might even keep her moist and add some nutrients to the soil. This dame needs all the help she can get. Fingers crossed she pulls through this. The future's looking murkier than a back alley on a foggy night. Stay tuned, folks, things could get interesting (or terminal) real fast.

The Case of the Overdosing Indica: Act I - Week 3, The Breakout Dame (and a Sticky Situation) The dame surprised me. Shot up like a scared rookie in a liquor store holdup. Pushed right through the top of that plastic cone, like a magician escaping a cheap trick. Gave her some room to breathe, let her finally spread those green wings. Responded like a champ, doubled in size practically overnight. Shows she's got some fight in her after all. Just when I thought things were smoothing out, I spot a new player in the game. A spider, fat and sassy, spun a web between Auto Overdose and the dame next door, Tequila Sunrise. Looks like they're getting tangled up already. More trouble on the horizon, or a twisted kind of protection? This case just keeps getting stranger. Stay tuned, folks, Act II promises to be a tangled web indeed.

The Case of the Overdosing Indica: Act II - Week 4, Eviction Notice Served (and a New Digs!) Looks like our dame finally got an upgrade. No more cramped quarters for Auto Overdose. She's graduated to a pot with her name practically written on it - spacious, sturdy, built to accommodate a dame with ambitions. What do you think of my artwork, folks? Classy or a little… flashy? Let me know in the comments. That eight-legged squatter got the boot. One well-placed nudge from the watering can sent it scuttling back to whatever dark corner it crawled out of. Looks like this dame ain't afraid to stand her ground. And standing she is. Tall. The straw and mulch seem to be working their magic. Overdose is stretching towards the sky, leaves perking up like a dame who just heard the gossip on the acquittal of a goodfella. Maybe a little sunshine and some elbow room are all she needed. This dame's got fight in her, that much is clear. Stay tuned for week five, folks, things are about to get interesting.

The Case of the Overdosing Indica: Act II - Week 5, Sunshine Serenade (and Where's the Bloom?) Brandenburg's been putting on a show this week, sunshine brighter than a gold tooth in a blackout. Auto Overdose, bless her green heart, is lapping it all up. The cramped pot feels like a relic from a bygone era – this dame's a skyscraper now, broad Indica leaves reaching for the sky like a dame with a million-dollar view. One thing's missing, though. No sign of those sweet, sticky flowers yet. Starting to wonder if this dame's playing hard to get, or maybe the sunshine's got her a little too relaxed. Patience, they say, is a virtue. But this detective's getting antsy. Stay tuned, folks, the plot thickens like smoke in a crowded club.

The Case of the Overdosing Indica: Act II - Week 6, Sun's Out, Buds...? (Nowhere to be Found) Brandenburg's sunshine streak continues, bright enough to fry a crook's alibi. Auto Overdose, gotta hand it to her, is thriving like a dame with a winning lottery ticket. Bushier than a snitch with a guilty conscience, leaves sprawling everywhere with room to spare. But here's the rub, folks. Still no sign of those flowers we were promised. This dame's supposed to be an autoflower, self-starting and all that jazz. But right now, she's acting more like a dame who likes to take her sweet time. Starting to wonder if this "Overdose" is all smoke and mirrors. Stay tuned, folks, the plot's got more twists than a double-crossing dame in a red dress.

The Case of the Overdosing Indica: Act II - Week 6, Stretching Like a Mob Snitch (and Building Muscle) Brandenburg's sunshine's been a two-faced dame this week - scorcher by day, leaving Auto Overdose stretched like a mob snitch under a hot lamp. She's hit a cool 60cm now, a far cry from the runt she was in that first pot. Took the whole training regimen in stride, this dame. Looks like she's earned a break for good behaviour. Time to let her build some muscle, get those branches nice and strong. Gonna need all the support she can get for the upcoming flower show, those "colas" they call 'em. Heard they can get heavy as a bag of stolen loot. Stay tuned, folks, the real fireworks are about to begin.

The Case of the Overdosing Indica: Act II - Week 8, The Heat is On (and the Flowers Are MIA) Brandenburg's sunshine streak is back, relentless as a crooked cop on the make. Auto Overdose, bless her green heart, seems to be taking it all in stride. Though the growth's slowed to a crawl – just a measly 4cm this week. Not exactly setting any world records. And here's the kicker, folks. Still no sign of those flowers we were promised. Starting to think this "auto" label is about as reliable as a dame with a gambling habit. Maybe this dame's playing a long game, one that don't involve the fireworks I was promised. Had to give her a little tough love this week. Took out some of the deadwood – leaves yellowing at the edges, smaller branches reaching for sunshine they ain't gonna get. Gotta focus on the main event, right? This dame's starting to sweat under the pressure, and so am I. Stay tuned, folks, the plot's getting thicker than a bowl of undercooked porridge in a cheap diner.

The Case of the Overdosing Indica: Act II - Week 9, The Plot Thickens (Like Smoke in a Speakeasy) Brandenburg's been a scorcher this week, thermometer pushing 25C like a dame with a hot tip. Imagine my surprise when Auto Overdose, bless her stubborn heart, decided to pick up the pace. Grew almost 10cm in a single week – seems this dame don't play by the usual rules. Had to give her the full Hollywood treatment this week. Leaves and shoots multiplying like rumours in a crowded bar, so I did some defoliating and mainlining. Think of it as a dame getting a makeover, focusing on her best features – those thick, strong branches that are gonna hold the real fireworks. But here's the rub, folks. Still no sign of those flowers. Starting to wonder if this dame's got a genetic stutter, or maybe this "auto" thing is just a tall tale spun by some two-bit seed salesman. Is this some kind of long con? Stay tuned, folks, the plot's getting thicker than the smoke in a backroom poker game, and the stakes are gettin' higher than yours truly with some Gelato in the sun.

The Case of the Overdosing Indica: Act II - Week 10, The Green Getaway Driver (and Still No Flowers) Auto Overdose? More like Auto-Overgrow at this point. This dame shot up a whole 20cm this week, faster than a getaway driver with a hot tailpipe. Looks like sunshine and a little tough love were just what the doctor ordered. Though, let's be honest, folks, this ain't exactly the "indica" physique I was promised. Starting to think this "autoflower" business is about as reliable as a snitch with a suspended sentence. Had to keep the shears handy this week too. New shoots popping up like uninvited guests at a speakeasy. Gotta keep things focused, right? This dame needs to channel all her energy into the main event, not some sideshow distractions. But the big question remains unanswered. Still no sign of those flowers. Is this some kind of genetic prank, or am I stuck with a rogue green giant on my hands? Stay tuned, folks, the plot's got more twists than a double-crossing dame in a red dress, (now try and say that three times!), and the suspense is thicker than fog in a London alley.

Act III - Week 11: The Dame Finally Breaks Bad Hallelujah, folks! Our dame finally saw the light – or rather, the lack thereof. Flowering has begun, a slow burn that's more like a smoky confession than a fireworks display. Big shoutout to all the growmies out there who kept me calm during this green-fingered fiasco. Still, gotta be honest, this is some seriously late blooming for an "auto." My outdoor non-autos have also started flowering. Looks like this dame had her own schedule, one that wouldn't be rushed by sunshine or a well-timed trim. Growth slowed down this week, a respectable 4cm. She's putting all her energy into those precious flowers. Speaking of which, tiny shoots have started popping up all over – another sign our dame's finally embraced her floral destiny. Rain and sunshine, both in abundance this week, seem to have given her the push she needed. But the question remains, folks – will this late bloomer be worth the wait? Stay tuned for Act III, where the stakes are higher than a penthouse with a bad view, and the harvest moon hangs heavy in the smokey air.