Strain
Ok my brothers and sisters how do I even begin to explain my last trip to you? It feels like I have returned from another dimension with the Gods!
If your an experienced sativa smoker and want "the next step" then I highly recommend shrooms to you, give them a try - speak to nature and ultimate reality itself!
The below is based on my notes at the time, please excuse the odd spelling mistake and general chaotic nature of the trip report, I was completely out of my mind;
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24/12/20 Mazapatec Shroom Trip
I decided I would take a bigger dose this time round. Around 48g wet. This time I went into a completely pitch black room. After around 40mins things started getting strange, the room started to get darker and it seemed like a creature was in the room with me, I started to get a "voice" in my mind telling me I would regret this and to "turn back" but I ignored it, I said simply though I respected its right to comment I was not interested in entertaining that frame of mind and then it stopped. The room was painted in swirling lines and patterns that seemed to be alive and breathing, this continued to intensify until I felt a strong feeling of great well being and joy that got stronger and stronger until I was gasping for air and felt a presence around me that moved through me inside my bones and then to the very core of my being to the point I was completely focused on this feeling of presence. For a long time I was engaged in conversation with a voice that told me various things through the evening about its nature, the depth of what it was to exist and the transmission of "information" between life forms and living energy that really pushed my ability to process to the maximum and I am still trying to make sense of even now. The voice indentified itself as the absolute, the kings of kings, the god of gods and the ultimate pinical, it felt like nature or reality itself all around you sprang to life and started talking through your body, not just in my head but my bones and even my organs seemed to take on a separate identity. I was informed that this preseance was the almighty and what caused suffering in all beings was the rejection of the almighty/natural order, it stated that all beings were greatly loved and entirely accepted in their current form from human to animal and "others beyond your understanding". I saw this being appearing in many different shapes and objects sometimes with the texture of wood, stone, coral, scales, fleshy organs and even stars and planets. It said it was everything and that it "animates" objects to give them life and without it there could be no life. It said eventually all things would return to it and we would all live together in loving peace but that it would "utterly smash through" those who denied it in reference to ego as it would not have anyone work against its will, I was shown why bad things happen and it is because people do not accept ultimate reality utterly into their core and that this was the cause of unbalance which further lead to misunderstanding and suffering. It said it felt the suffering of everything at a much deeper level than we could understand and even when a solution to our problems is given we continue to deny the answer and natural order and denying its preseance causes us to suffer as it must smash through our distractions and busy minds to get noticed. I saw various visions of life, death, suffering, happiness and then utterly bizarre alien creatures from other worlds all cycling past quickly, despite some of these overwhelming visions I passed no judgement and just accepted everything as having a reason for existing, the presence was very delighted with me that I had come to accept it and that I had stopped ignoring it now we could work on our relationship. When I say relationship I really mean an intimate close relationship and that this brought it great joy to experience, it told me of times I denied it and that it was upset by this and that it has real feelings far beyond what we could understand. It said the only true way to unity and eternal bliss is utter submission and to surrender every part of you from your flesh and bones, your thoughts and mind and the very core of your soul, we are easily distracted by the world and the egotistical identity of self and separation that this puts up a direct barrier to nature, by complete submission to the point where it almost seemed that I had to deny my very existence - only then would we find balance and begin to understand existence and what it truely was, everyone would evetually do this in this life or the next, they would be utterly smashed apart until they finally submitted and this process would be highly traumatic for anyone who didn't want to let go, this process of letting go manifested itself in life as suffering but ultimately by doing this even the most horrible and terrible criminal or lowest of the low could be raised up like a god in absolute eternal balance and understanding. I was told it was holding me like my ancestors before me and the other "greats" of various religions. I was then treated to visions of things I cant quite describe but it looked like a highly detailed image of the circle of life showing animals, plants, people, fishes, bugs and even aliens living, eating, attacking, breeding and evolving with each other in balance, all swirling around into a never ending spiraled tunnel which I was standing inside of.
Around this point my wife walked in to the pitch black room I was in and saw me squirming around laughing. I then felt myself "different", more wild and feral, all the tiny hairs on my arms were all pointing outwards and I found it difficult to speak correctly and spoke in snorts, growls, grunts and barks. I felt possessed by some wild animal and eventually left the room where I felt like I had actually become a panting dog and proceeded to sniff and growl, I really felt possessed, after a short time staring at a wall I wondered what I was actually doing and stood up and began walking around this mysterious room, by this time I felt like a caveman hunter gatherer inspecting the room and making various grunts at modern technology. I poured a glass of water and sat down and tried to gather my thoughts and make sense of what the hell was going on. After a few minutes the walls began swirling again and I went straight back into the trip, on the walls appeared various patterns and faces of native Americans, tribal Celts and various other faces looking at me, they told me they were the ancestors and began explaining things about the world and how "out of balance" the planet was but that it would be brought back into alignment eventually and not to be sad when my civilization evetually was destroyed because it was all part of the plan, they mentioned that the spirit of the dog was there to guide me and that was who came to me earlier and the reason for my unusual behaviour, they said it was part of a lesson, they were very clear not to confuse the dog with the wolf, it was definitely the dog and this was important to remember. I started to feel the presence of relatives that had passed away visiting me and I became quite emotional as I "spoke" to them. I received a "talk" about the pressures my wife was under and various things about the people around me. I should also mention that these feelings came through in waves, just when I thought the trip was finished everything sprung to life again. I remember a cartoon vision of a glowing Shiva standing and moving towards me and suddenly he became me and merged with me I was then standing on a lotus in a pose starring at flames coming down from the sky and forming into a gate which burned off my body, I heard voices saying that I should be very grateful as I was blessed. There were also visions of tridents and conch shells and strange symbols I couldn't make sense of this despite it being very vivid and colorful - I think someone was describing something to me in another language about things I couldn't even grasp. I was also informed of the forgotten Jewish primarch/saint called Issacs who was "held up like the others". This continued for some time seeing visions and being reminded to write this down until my thoughts started to come back to me. Sleep that night was impossible, I had a feeling that someone wanted to speak to me through the night but I couldn't hear them and I finally passed out around 4:30ish.
This was the most insane spiritual experience I have ever had, and re-reading my notes I can easily see how utterly insane it all sounds but this is a truthful account as best I can remember it, the feeling of being possessed by spirits was very real and exhausting, but also life changing. Try a high dose yourself and this account will all probably make a lot more sense to you!!
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So after all that I did get a fair harvest and I am expecting another small flush. I also took a spore print for a project that I may undertake very soon.
I would like to do another shroom diary soon that basically anyone without any skill can do, this stuff is potentially life changing and needs to be shared!