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Funny Monk
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10 months ago
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21 weeks
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Latest Reviews Show all reviews (10)

NomNom Master
Laughing Buddha
Growing it
:point_right:The Good:yum:

Miss Monk has been a hell of a fun girl to grow, she has grown big fat colas with big fat buds. She if very pungent in smell with a very papaya tone to her while growing.

Now that she is dried and 1 month cured I can tell you she still has retained that tropical papaya smell to her with some backup notes for sweet and fruity.

Vaping her I find the taste to be on the Earthy and Pine side with just the lightest hint of a little skunk. It’s very pleasant and nice, but the fruity sweet tones weren’t there in the vape and that’s ok. Some of the other fruity and sweet weed out there get tiring and overbearing after a couple days. Having an earthy pine taste to her makes her a bit more “classic” and it’s a taste that is nice long term day in and day out.

Her effects have changed a lot in the last month. Smoking her right after she dried vs a month into cure is 2 very different experiences. Right after we she finished drying, she was peaky in the high, very energetic, and was very hard to sleep on. Now that we are a month in the cure she has mellowed out a lot. The high is more blunt, last longer, and very smooth. She still a sativa and she’s not going to couch lock you, but she makes you want to do more creative or interactive activates like reading a book, drawing, playing an instrument, or video games. Now that she is cured I can also sleep on her, she won’t really put you to sleep but she will let you and will give you nice creative dreams.

Barney’s Farm lists her as an 80% Sativa, and I’m not use if it’s just my pheno but I would have rated her more along the 60% Sativa scale. She is still talkative, engaging, and interactive, but it’s more like a nice coffee house high with your friends, or it’d be awesome to smoke during a night of billiards.

:point_right:The Bad:worried:

I had some excess heat issues in the grow room, and my Funny Monk really didn’t like the excess heat. Now keep in mind this is 28-30C at the hottest points, the excess heat was just that, excess, it wasn’t extreme. Miss Monk had taco’ing leaves fairly badly, she also produced ~5 bananas across the entire plant that I found. I marked the cola’s that I found banana’s on and kept them separate for me to smoke first. I can tell you that I have yet to find a seed and that makes me very happy.

:point_right:Harvest In Numbers:pray:

450w LED above her (From the wall)
7.53 sq.ft (0.7 sq.m)

2,137 g (75.38 oz) Wet Total
452.5 g (15.96 oz) Dry Total

21.2% Net dry weight

23 weeks growing

1 week drying = 24 weeks total

452.5 g / 24 weeks = 18.85 g / week (0.67 oz /week)

452.5 g / 47 branches = 9.63 g / branch (0.34 oz / branch)

452.5 g / 450 watts = 1.01 g / watt

452.5 g / 0.7 sq.m = 646.4 g / sq.m

Miss Laughing Buddha was in her own ~2’x4’ measuring it out it’s a little under that so I used 0.7 sq.m or 15.1 sq.ft as the actual size.

I used a max of 450w during flower, but with the heat issues I was having (due to the 30 C outside temps) she only had 450w for about ~2 weeks of flower. The rest of the time the LED light power was below 450w and I’d say the majority of the time she only got around ~300w of power. However I’m going to use the 450w for the calculation as that is the peak that she received.

Barney’s Farm quotes her as 600 g/sq.m and she outperformed that with 646.4 g/sq.m showing that their estimate is well within reason.

She produced 1 g/watt and I consider that a very conservative estimate since most of the time she was down around the 300w range. If I did the numbers with 300w she’d be up in the 1.5 g/watt area, I think the truth for this girl is somewhere between those two numbers.

21.2% net dry is prefect for this girl, it’s right in the sweet spot that I usually see.

A very impressive (especially with the long flower time of her at 73 days) of 18.85 g/week growing.

:point_right:Final Thoughts:point_left:

I think one of the reasons why my girl has come out more on the “relaxing” end and not as much on the “energetic” side is because of her ripeness when harvesting. She ripened more then I think I was supposed to let her. She had tons of amber through her trichomes, just riddle with them, and I think that is why she more on the relaxing end. Not sure shy she ambered in so fast and dense, but I don’t regret it one bit. I have lots of energetic sativas and I really like her mellow side to her, it’s still happy, active, and engaging but her mellow side makes her great for an engaging in evening with friends. A very very nice sativa that has the relaxing effects that I love after a long week of work.

I’m giving her a 9/10, I think she is near perfect but I’m deducting 1 point for the sensitivity to the heat that she showed.

I would definitely recommend anyone to give her a grow, she is very easy to grow and will make you feel like a superstar with the yields and quality that she produces. I’ll be growing her again in the future and I’ll be growing her during the winter so I can control the temps more easily.

Not sure if I’ll send her to a lab for testing or not. I’ll update with the results if I send her to the lab.
9 months ago
NomNom Master
Growing it
This is written about a month after harvest ~1 week of drying and ~3 weeks of cure time.

:point_right:The Good:grinning:

My Bikini Girl did well, she produced me some beautiful plump and juicy buds. These things are the most gorgeous cola’s I’ve ever seen (IMO). I’ve only grown 10 different strains so far but this girl has the densest trichome patter I’ve ever seen on my digital microscope.

She also handled the excess heat in the room just fine, didn’t show any heat stress signs and didn’t banana on me. The Painkiller also handled the heat well, but my Northern Lights and Laughing Buddha didn’t fair so well.

She has a earthy and piney smell to her, there is a slight hint of skunk to her but it’s very mild.

The smoke has a mild mixture of pine and mint with a hint of skunk. None of the tones are very loud and I’d honestly describe the smoke as “classic weed”. It’s a very nice smoke but it’s not any of these fancy flavors floating around. It’s a nice smooth classic weed smoke that isn’t dominated by any flavor, smell, or tone.

The high is very active, my brain feels alive and creative. I feel happy and it’s really nice to hit right before I head into my grow room to be a big prune. It’s a little more on the creative or involved, like a good video game or cleaning the car, something that is a little more task/decision oriented. I don’t feel like doing a repetitive task like a lot of other sativa’s I’ve tried, I feel like I want a more involved task. The high is also clear, I don’t feel like I’m in a heavy fog, maybe a light fog that keeps me more focused on the task at hand, but still able to think well. It also has a bit of a body uplifting high to her as well, I feel lighter and relaxed.

Bomb Seeds describes the high as "Powerful and Euphoric" after smoking I can definitely get there and can agree with that assessment. To me it feels a little more on the creative/inspiring side, but "euphoric" can also be a good description of it.

:point_right:The Bad:flushed:

My poor bikini girl split her main T and her 2 secondary T’s, this did stunt her a bit but she pulled through and did very well. She is a bit more of a “compact” girl with tight node spacing and is very strong.

She is a strong Sativa and as such is not recommended for sleeping in any way. She keeps my mind going and I can not sleep on her, so use her as a daytime high and switch to a another strain in the evening when you want some sleep.

:point_right:Harvest In Numbers:pray:

She produce

200w LED above her
3.78 sq.ft (0.35 sq.m)

1,116 g (39.37 oz) Wet Total
189 g (6.67 oz) Dry Total

16.9% Net dry weight

20 weeks growing

1 week drying = 21 weeks total

189 g / 21 weeks = 9 g / week (0.317 oz /week)

189 g / 33 branches = 5.7 g / branch (0.20 oz / branch)

189 g / 200 watts = 0.945 g / watt

189 g / 0.35 sq.m = 540 g / sq.m

First I’d like to say that I’m treating the Atomic Bomb as if it used up 25% of the 4x4 tent space, the realistic truth is that this is probably assigning too much space to it. She should probably be around 20% maybe even less.

Bomb Seeds claims the Atomic Bomb produces 450-550 g/m.sq so 540 g/m.sq is right in line and on the high end of their quoted yield. Bomb seeds is on the up and up with their yields quotes, if anything they are a little conservative. If I used the 20% of the tent space then it would be 0.28 m.sq and the result would be 675 g / m.sq and that is an amazing grams per m.sq and easily the most I’ve ever gotten.

The 9g / week is on the low end for what I’m use to seeing for yields, but considering the splits she had to recover from it’s understandable. I think that it’s fair to say that it stunted the girl at least 2 weeks, that would put it at 19 weeks and 9.95 g/week and ~10 g/week is more in line what I see from sativas I grow.

0.945 g / watt is a good yield for me, and like I said above it’s an over estimation of wattage and area used, so realistically this girl probably yielded over 1g/watt.

Drying I really feel I let her over dry by 18-24 hours, I should have jarred her up the day before but I was feeling her and it felt a bit borderline. So I let her go another day, and of course it was a week day, and I couldn’t get to her until after work making it an extra 24 hours, this turned out to be a bit too much. Looking back on it I should have increased the humidity in the room from 50% to the 60-65% humidity and then that would have slowed down the drying a bit more. In the end it was 16.9% net dry yield from the wet trim and this is the lowest net yield I’ve ever had. I think it’s dryer then 62% and the 62% Boveda humidity packs will probably plump it up a bit more and I might actually gain a bit more weight in the jars.

:point_right:Final Thoughts:point_left:

I’m really like her, the smoke is very different from the other sativas I’ve grown. I like that it’s more mentally and creatively stimulating with the slight body high is also very nice edition. Next time I go for a nice hike I’m going to pack this in the vaporizer, it’d be a awesome smoke to enjoy the great outdoors with.

I wish I had more of her because she has such a nice creative side to her, I’ll definitely be growing her again.

I’m giving her 9/10 because of the splitting at the T’s. But other than that she has been a fantastic girl to grow and to smoke. I’d recommend anyone who likes a nice sativa to give this one a grow, I can’t see how anyone can be disappointed in a sativa like this.

I’m pondering sending her in for lab testing, but at only 6.67 oz of but I’m not sure I really want to drop $150 into testing. I'll update this post with the results if I send it in for testing.
10 months ago
NomNom Master
Painkiller XL
Growing it
I’m writing this about a ~month after harvest and ~3 weeks cured.

:point_right:The Good:smiley:

Painkiller has really surprised us with her smoke. She is marked as 9% THC and 9% CBD by Royal Queen Seeds. For us this was the first time trying a strain that had this 1:1 THC:CBD balance and also the first time we’ve tried something that was this low in THC (I think 15% THC has been the lowest we’ve tried before). We really didn’t know what to expect and was primarily growing this strain for fathers and uncles whom can’t grow and have numerous health issues.

Upon trying my Naughty Nurse we were very pleasantly surprised by the effects, it is very nice, you can feel the high as being uplifting and relaxing but you keep you cognitive abilities. We were high, happy, and feeling great but had the added benefit that we could carry on complex discussions and tasks. As opposed to our usually get high and talk about how awesome different cheeses are as we stuff our faces.

It didn’t make us sleepy at all, but at the same time we smoked a bunch late in the day and we had no problems sleeping on it. Win-win

I can’t comment yet on how well it is for pain management or such, but I will come back and update this based on our experiences and feedback as we test it out.

One thing that us and some friends are really liking the Painkiller for is to blend it with one of our other strains (usually the Blueberry or Northern Lights 20+% THC strains). By blending it with the heavier indica’s we find it lightens them up a bit and extends the high out longer. The nice lemon/citrus flavour works very nicely for blending with other strains.

The buds on our girl were nice and big, normal/medium density, with a very good amount of trichomes and stickiness. This being my first CDB strain I wasn’t expecting the depth of trichomes she produced, we grew 4 strains this time around and I’d have to say she had the 2nd densest pattern of trichomes. The Atomic Bomb was the densest, the Painkiller was next, followed by the Northern Lights and the Laughing Buddha.

She has a very citrus/lemon and fresh smell to her, it’s inviting and nice. No harsh flavours or tones to her at all. It’s definitely a smell/flavour that everyone likes and is sure to please.

We had heat issues in our grow room this spring/summer, the outside temp went nuts and the A/C couldn’t keep the temp below 26, we jumped up into the 28-29 a lot. But the Painkiller did great, didn’t show any signs of heat or light stress and also didn’t show any banana’s (unlike our Laughing Buddha and Northern Lights that showed both). So she is a bit more resistant to heat stress then some of the other strains out there,

:point_right:The Bad:pensive:

The only “bad” thing I can really fault her for is that she has long, leggy, and weak branches. However I feel like this is being nit picky and not really anything “bad”. It’s just her style of growing and putting a scrog in would more then handle holding her up. She is a great girl to grow and I will be growing her again.

There are no real negative effects to the smoke that we have found so far. We can sleep fine on Painkiller and we haven't had any dry mouth or dry eyes.

:point_right:Harvest In Numbers:pray:

My Naughty Nurse shared a ~4’x4’ tent with 2 other girls (Atomic Bomb and Northern Lights). The tents grow area is a little under 4’x4’ and so I’m using 1.4 sq.m (15.1 sq ft) as the actual growing area.

During the grow I had heat issues in the grow room, I had to change the light schedule to run during the coolest parts of the night/morning and also resulted in my having to turn down the lights. So when I went to flower the lights started out at ~500w for the entire 4x4 tent, I then increased it over ~2-3 weeks up to 800w total for the entire 4x4 tent. However with the heat issues I then had to turn the lights down again to try and reduce the heat in the grow room, I ended turning them back down ending up at 600w. Realistically this grow got the 800w tent power for ~10 days and then it started to be turned down. This means that the actual wattage used is a bit hard to pin down since it changed during the grow. As a result I'm going to use the 800w total tent power, this was the peak power I used only for 7-10 days and thus it makes my numbers look worse then they realistically are.

Painkiller XL

250w LED above her
4.72 sq.ft (0.4375 sq.m)

1,263 g (44.55 oz) Wet Total
224.5 g (7.92 oz) Dry Total

17.8% Net dry weight

20 weeks growing + 1 week drying = 21 weeks total

224.5 g / 21 weeks = 10.7 g / week (0.38 oz /week)

224.5 g / 38 branches = 5.9 g / branch (0.21 oz / branch)

224.5 g / 250 watts = 0.90 g / watt

224.5 g / 0.4375 sq.m = 513.14 g / sq.m

RQS claims 500-550 g / m.sq and I hit 513 g / m.sq so the harvest amount was right in line with their claims. I had some issues keeping the cola’s vertical and not leaning on others, this was my fault for not running a scrog. I strongly feel a scrog would have increase the yield a bit more, probably pushing it up into the 550 g / sq.m territory.

Drying I really feel I let her over dry by 18-24 hours, I should have jarred her up the day before but I was feeling here and it felt a bit borderline. So I let her go another day, and of course it was a week day, and the extra 24 hours was a bit too much. Looking back on it I should have increased the humidity in the room from 50% to the 60-65% humidity and then that would have slowed down the drying a bit more. In the end it was 17.8% net dry yield from the wet trim and this is one of the lowest net yields I’ve ever gotten. I think it’s a bit dryer then 62% and the Boveda humidity packs will probably plump it up a bit more and I might actually gain a bit more weight in the jars.

:point_right:Final Thoughts:point_left:

Very happy with my Naughty Nurse, I think harvesting at F58 was perfect timing, just a bit of amber and very sticky and thick with trichomes. We are really liking the smoke, effects, and flavours. I would love to send this in to be tested at a lab for THC and CBD, hopefully that will happen and if it does I’ll update with the results.

I’ve been very happy with her, only thing I’m disappointed in is not having more. I’ll be growing painkiller again and hot on the heals of this beautiful girl I’m going to grow Euphoria from RQS that is also a 9% THC and 9% CDB but more on the indica side of the scale.

I’m going to be making a bunch of this into a tincture for the old farts in my life that have health issues. I’ll follow up with the feedback I get from them.

Below is the final update on the grow.
10 months ago

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