Hey, Smeagol here, Master! (LOL).. Frankly, I wouldn't try to put bits and pieces together because you will most likely end up spending more - unless you want to grab a light from ebay, a tent from who-cares-where.. that sort of thing... If I had to do it over again, I would probably go with AC Infinity (although I don't know what their lights are like) ... I say that because I have one of the tents (I'm the kind who had to go piecemeal) ... and the quality of the tent is SUPERIOR... so I'm guessing the rest of their products are as well... Now, the only reason you might not WANT to go with a complete starter kit is if you live in your own home and don't care about smells (so maybe you don't need an in-line exhaust fan)... but if you're going to be using C02 then yeah, get the whole kit and kaboodle...
I would look at 3 different outfits and compare them to see what YOU think is going to be good: AC Infinity, MarsHydro (has the option on their lights to mount the driver outside the tent which would help in warmer weather) and SpiderFarm .... I've also heard that LED bar lights are incredible... Oh... and the "man a message away" has discount codes for MarsHydro..
Look at those three... you'll know what you need/want - but you deserve to treat yourself and your wife after your summer experiences! And think about doing DWC... BIG harvests... :-D
Good luck in your decision - can't wait to see what you decide!