In the closet with two strains

Welcome people of the ganja globe, welcome one and all to this week's episode of "In the Closet with Two Strains"! My name is Jobbie and I will be your host on tonight's episode. Coming up: we will catch up with Jeff and his big story on bud watch, we will talk to Weather Wendy about the current climate, also, do not miss the story about what happened to long time guest Bondage Bob, then we will be celebrating someones birthday by introducing the new guest reporter: Alcoholic Alex, after that we find out what happened to crisis Jim and our final guest will be long time friend of the show Yogi Boggie, where we discuss how to deal with anxieties. Stay tuned people for a fun filled show, tonight on "In the Closet with Two Strains". Firstly let's visit Jeff live in the bud room for a heavy Bud Watch: thank you Jobbie, and what a story we have today. I hope you all have your jackets on today as things are getting frosty, have no fears however as "Buddin Powell" knows how to build a bomb shelter out of leaves and a fire out of water, I also hope to ganja that other people get this reference, you know, Sapphire Scout, Scouts... like... seriously, I am spending my entire day watching buds form, it is literally slower than watching paint dry. Jobbie: And that will be enough from Jeff today, now on to Wendy Weather our Weather Wendy for an update on conditions: really Jobbie? That's my introduction? What a prick, bet it took you all night to think that up and then slept like a stoned baby believing you were a genius. Also Jeff is full of shit, it's a pleasant 25 degrees Celsius in there, with a nice wind keeping things moving, as we all know, CO2 drops to the bottom, so you need that fan to push it around like an ugly kid in the playground, Jobbie you remember that don't you? Jobbie: *audible swallow of emotion. Thank you Wendy. Now after that rather rough reminder, here is another one, I have recently gotten another year older, a lot of you probably don't wonder how I spend my birthday, and if you do, that is sad, and if you know how then that is just worrying, please stop watching me in my boxers through the window of my ground floor apartment. To help celebrate, let me bring on our new guest reporter, yes you know him, it is Alcoholic Alex! Alcoholic Alex: too kind! You are too kind. Tonight we will be doing the classic combination of whisky and weed. This combination is great as the whisky makes you feel like a man, and the weed restrains that feeling just enough so you don't beat your wife. If any of you are thinking Jack Daniels, then there is the door, don't use it, instead walk up to the top of this 4 story building and jump, it won't kill you, just cripple you... hopefully. We will go to Scotland for this tipple, try Talisker, it's smooth and smokey which is perfect to go with a nice fat smoke. It is fine to add a little water, but a mixer will get you stabbed. Jobbie: ah! Tastes like manly times! Now let us find out what happened to Bondage Bob. This people of the Weed world is a big and important story, Bondage Bob is now Bondage Barbara, so please welcome Barbara to the show! Bondage Barbara: after we set the plants free and removed their restraints, I felt there was something in me that needed this freedom, like women's breasts in the 70s, I just had to let loose and be free. So after some soul searching, I realised that my inner self needed to be expressed on the outside, so from now on I will be transitioning to female, deep down this has always been me. Jobbie: is the bondage still a thing? BB: ffs Jobbie, my birth gender is getting a transplant, not my brain. Jobbie: so how are the plants? BB: same as last time, free, like my soul, but don't worry, I have ideas. Now let us find out what happened to Jim? He is no longer with us, we cannot disclose what happened for... legal reasons, but allow me to introduce crisis Karen, our new crisis correspondent. It can be officially recognised that we are at the end of the humidity hype, after a kind community contributer jumped in with some sage advice, we have now created more availability for air to be cycled through the grow space, which allowed more air and humidity to be shifted. Thank you everyone, thanks to your donations we have reached an average of 55% humidity today with a low of 50%. Now the grow room is not as wet as Jim's.... Jobbie: thank you Karen, more on that later. Now here is yogi boggie for help in dealing with those harvest blues. Do you suffer from the harvest anxiety, from the pain and longing of the age you wait for harvest to arrive? Well fret no longer, take each day as it comes and set your mind to the three tasks of mind, body and soul, your body and soul might already be in what you are doing, but your mind will be lacking engagement, so use this time to plan for the future. Jobbie: thank you boggie, that was... well it felt like a cult of lawyers. But we appreciate the segment. On next week's episode we will be looking at decreasing humidity further and bringing those frosty Weather fronts into the grow tent so the leaves turn purple, we will discuss more of what to do with various parts of the plant. We will probably face some new crisis and likely drink more booze and smoke weed. This week's episode has been great, thank you for all my birthday wishes. Together we have helped solve a crisis, we have helped set someone's inner self free, we have potentially put a sick bastard in jail that I can neither confirm or deny used to work on this show, and, as always, we have continued to grow weed! So from us to you, have fun, go crazy and don't get caught! Good night!