In the closet with two strains

Hello people of this ganja spinning world and welcome to this week's episode of "In the Closet with Two Strains"! We have an amazing episode brought to you by your host with the most... disreputable name, it is Jobbie! Thank you Ganja people! Thank you people of the world who are kind, generous and probably unsure of what date and time it is right now. Let's talk about the entertainment we have lined up for you this episode: we will check in with Weather Wendy (not her real name or hair colour), then a journey to Jeff in the Bud watch, to find out how big he likes those buds, his segment will be followed by the wonderful and intimidating Bondage Barbara, after safe words are used we will sort out the mess with our very own Crisis Karen, then to top it off we will have a drink with Alcoholic Alex, after this episode, we will probably need it! Most importantly, at the end of the show we will be announcing the winner of last week's competition to name those plants! Without further prattle, take it away Wendy! Hello Ganja globe, here is your weather update for the grow room with me, Weather Wendy: temperatures have been experiencing highs of 28 degrees Celsius at the hight of the day, this has been followed by lows of 22 degrees in the dead of night, we have been enjoying high winds due to the larger fan being put up to speed setting two, opening the windows and tent door has allowed this hot air to be released on a regular basis, like Jobbie after too much cheese. The humidity is ranging from 47% to 68%, with its highest point being during the night, we would ask any suggestion for keeping this low be posted in the comments. Thank you for tuning in, remember, good weather is good ganja. Jobbie: not entirely sure that is correct, but... Wendy: not sure that is your real hair. Jobbie:... now on to Jeff in bud watch! Take it away Jeff! The buds are getting bigger, I think, it is hard to tell, one great thing about this platform is that we can look back over history and see the progress we have made... all before we cut it all down and burn it. With only 3 - 5 weeks left before both plants are harvested it is good to see the brown coming through, that all the sites are fattening up, although, they have now began to get so fat that we might need to call in the best of bondage, the temptress of ties, the... Jobbie: we will be hearing from Bondage Barbara... sorry but Jeff wants my job. Thank you and I hate you, all I desire to to be let loose on the cast. Alas, my job is to tie up plants, not humans... yet. Jeff is correct, those big thick buds are oh so heavy, so it is time to strap them into that pole and have them supported so they can bring in the harvest. To do this we used rubber coated wire ties to attach them to the pole... much like the spokes of a torture wheel, also it being may this is the May pole dance... which I don't need to tell you of its phallic origins! However, we might need some help, when we were trying to squeeze the big flowers back in, two girls got their buds twisted and one stem got bent, no safe words were uttered, accidents just happen, but we will need to call... Jobbie: Crisis Karen, we need to call her... everyone wants my job, I just wish people wanted my... Karen: dick, yes my husbands name is Richard... oh we are on, well I told you this is what happens when people play with it too much, it breaks or you go blind. No reason to panic Janet, from our own analysis it is not as bad as you think, the stem's skin did not break, so we wrapped some rubber wire around the stem to give it support, this should easily mend over time with little risk of infection. Just be careful from now on. Jobbie: Thank you Karen, you are a pain in the ass but useful at times. After all that stress it is time to take a load off with Alcoholic Alex, chin chin! Thank you Jobbie, like fine scotch, always a pleasure. Firstly, we had some business to take care of, those CO2 producers won't take care of themselves, being the only person on the show with brewing experience it has fallen to me to feed those cultures of yeast and make alcohol. Would not drink this, it would be disgusting, however, after four spoonfuls of sugar added, it is still undrinkable. Luckily we just need it for the by product of CO2. This week's drink suggestion is Kraken Rum: it is dark, it is spiced, it goes great with weed. Try it with some ginger ale and a splash of lime on the rocks and enjoy the pirate life! Thank you Alex, now without further ado, it, is, time! What time you ask? To announce the WINNER! Last week we asked you to name the tobacco alternatives we are now growing, we were inundated with Two entries and can proudly announce, the winner of a follow and many likes is Chow_13! Congratulations on having the most correct guesses. The plants from left to right were: cat nip, purple sage, mango sage and culinary sage! All of which I cannot wait to try! Well this week has been a blast, we have enjoyed good weather, fixed issues due to them fat buds and gotten a little more wasted with Alex. Next week we hope to tackle the question of grow space optimisation: we have a 120cm x 60cm x 150cm cupboard and trying to make the most of it. Any suggestions let me know. Thank you everyone for your participation and the time you generously give when reading this diary, it is a pleasure to write and we look forward to next week on "In the Closet with Two Strains"! Good night!