TFTC: The Laughing Martian God

Welcome ganja lovers, welcome to our first installment of "Tales from the Closet", we as part of Jobbie studios in concert with our partners Mars-Hydro are delighted to bring you "The Laughing Martian God". We hope you enjoy tonight's presentation. My name is Jobbie, the story you are about to hear might sound unbelievable, it might sound like I am a madman, and, perhaps I am. Four weeks have passed since my life has taken a course that in my wildest dreams I would never have dreamt, since then it feels like some unseen hand has led me down a sinuous path, to the frontiers of human existence itself, to Mars and the Colony of New Los Angeles. It feels like my existence and mind is at the beckoning call, nay, laughter of some unseen God, so please, listen to my story, I beg of you! Just listen to what I am about to say, it all started on Earth working in a laboratory 4 weeks ago. My Job in the lab was to examine rocks sent back by Archeologists on Mars, mostly examining molecular structure but at the same time looking for any signs of previous life. I spent most of my time daydreaming about visiting the spires of New Los Angeles, or taking a tour around the purple buildings of New Old Amsterdam, on one such day the unthinkable happened, a simple looking rock on the outside, but when I cut into it I found a box, looking like an old takeaway container, inside was a wet tissue like substance with that appeared to be seed in it, it looked like a seed. This was one in a million and appeared to be my chance to make a great discovery. I smuggled it out of the office from under the watchful eye of Bill, when questioned about it I feigned sickness and went home. There the seed needed conditions to possibly sprout, so it was placed in my coldest darkest closet to mimic the frigid darkness of life under Martian Soil. Then, I waited for a miracle. The following week were spent away from work, just waiting and watching, eventually in the cold dark cupboard the martian seed sprouted, then the taproot grew and it was time to be planted in a three liter container, with potting soil, the only light I had was that of the outdoors, so again my wait continued. The plant took all my waking thoughts and consciousness until two days after planting when it felt my hope was lost, a little green sprout appeared, and when my eyes gazed upon this martian life, my mind heard a distant echo of laughter. Under the earth's sun it grew slowly, the soil appeared to be weak and for the first week nothing really happened, then the unthinkable happened, it drooped over, I felt all hope was lost and with the desperate panic that seized my heart and mind I worked to help the plant. Then an event happened which darkened my soul: the door to my apartment opened and in walked a hooded man. It appeared to be Bill my boss, then I saw his face, eyes were wild whilst completely focused on the plant and a wicked smile contorted his skin, right then he lunged for me, taken by surprise his weight pinned me to the ground and his fingers clawed at my throat, not trying to strangle me, but instead trying to rip the flesh away. With great effort I managed to grab the only thing close to hand, a universal remote for the apartment, which I then slammed into his head, the thin clear pad snapped in two, so I slammed it into his head again. The sharp edge glancing off his skull but creating a deep bloody cut in his skin, I slammed it in again and again until he collapsed into death's clutch, still he lay with that horrible smile on his face. I knew it was time to get away, so I went to the only man who could help… the smuggler named DeFharo. On the way I acquired some wire as support for the plant, it needed to survive, my destination was Mars to give this plant the soil and light it needed. If you want to grow out of this world plants, you need Mars Hydro conditions, so I was going to accept no substitute. The smuggler was willing to help for a price, yet undetermined, he would take me to New Los Angeles where I could lose myself in the towering spires, there hopefully I could raise this plant. So for the next couple weeks I spent in my bunk on his ship, traveling to Mars, running as a fugitive to an unknown future, running from my old dreams and life that now seemed a hazy childish fantasy, compared to the destiny that I felt clutching at my heart and mind. In my small cabin there was a small cupboard where used a 20w T5 lamp to give the plant light, the heat and humidity seemed to be okay after I used an old clear food container to create a makeshift biodome., here my plant, she was on life support until she got home. Time passed so slowly, yet not once did my mind stop to think about the insanity on which my life existed, so far from home, in space. We landed and my first job was to find a place to grow and nurture my plant, luck would have it that a biodome had just come available on the fringes of the city, a person call Eleen helped me settle in and taught me how the lighting of this Mars Hydro unit worked for optimum plant growth; these premises were mostly used to experiment plant growth for martian environments. If you read this, thank you Eleen! Once settled in I locked the door and set out to help my tiny sprout which had since began to stand on its own again, with only the tiniest of true leaves keeping her alive, her cotyledons had since turned a yellow colour. It had been some time since we left, three weeks even, now with my biodome I used the martian light to heal my plant, once the light hit the leaves I once again heard laughter, louder this time, as though this plant possessed the ability to touch hearts and minds, as though it were some how able to communicate its pleasure. A week had passed since my arrival and only a little progress had been made when there was a knock at my door, some people in robes walked past me into my habitat, they had the traipsing of gardeners and carried a small vial, seven people in total walked into my dome straight to the seedling, they all smiled a loving adoration, then raised their vial of mirky fluids up and said “We offer the nutrients of this holy land to this the Laughing plant. They poured the vial out and the Laughter this time was unmistakable, it rang out through the entire dome, the seven gardeners bowed down and worshipped the plant, I wondered what I had done, what insanity was now happening, could they hear it too? How did they know? As they bowed, I cowered, what have I done! The laughter, it continued as the liquid was absorbed by the soil and the plant looked almost instantly healthier, then, the laughter stopped, the people they left, I was now alone with the Martian plant. Alone again and now the laughter had died, I felt the draw, the almost irresistible draw to do anything to bring it back. To make my God Laugh again. We at Jobbies studio would like to thank Mars-Hydro for making this possible, their light really has done wonders for my growing. We would also love to thank you our viewers, soon will be the companion series set in the same time and dimension called "The Purple Lemonade Cult", so keep your eyes peeled for this installment of "Tales from the Closet". Thank you again, please drive safely and respect each other, good night. I've decided to do things differently and make up stories, my plant had a rough start but kept her alive, she is now growing so well, the TS100 from Mars-Hydro has honestly done wonders, firstly the temperature is lower in the tent, second the cost of energy is lower, im also not seeing much difference in growth between this and my old 600w blurple. Let me know your thoughts and comments, thank you.