TFTC: The Laughing Martian God

Welcome grommies, and welcome to anyone who is not a cultivator, but instead a voyeur of plant cultivation. It is time for another chapter of "Tales from the Closet: The Laughing Martian God" brought to you by Mars Hydro, getting you stratospheric plants without having to be a billionaire. So far we have experienced the ups and downs of life on Mars that David Bowie warned us about, everything from restrictive regimes to clandestine cults. Last week we heard how Jobbie was planning to take plant matters into his own pious paws by infiltrating the grow biodome. Will he succeed? Will the reunion between man and celestial plant be a happy one? Will we ever find out more about Bondage Barbara… she is a fan favourite. Let us find out in this week's episode of "The Laughing God of Mars"! Infiltration was surprisingly easy, something however, that no one mentioned was that when you infiltrate, you actually need to do the job you are pretending to do, so I made it to the biodome illegally to work and they won't even give me a pension plan. I'm tired, working long shifts as a garden scientist has meant very little time for things like sleep, especially considering my spare time is spent helping to organise things outside of the Dome. An incident happened, there was an event that still has me in shock, about how my position became available in the first place. There was an issue with the plant, reports were that some leaves had started showing brown spots. After much research and help from the community (here's looking at you grodiaries community!) We found out that this was due to over feeding, but how? The regime was meant to be light, it was never supposed to be an issue. We watched footage of feeding schedules, there it was, Mike was feeding the plants more and more often than he was supposed to, the plant was showing the beginning signs of death by overfeeding, obesity for plants, the effects of so much fluids also showed negative signs for humidity, we looked to Mark, he was Mike's twin and worked closely with him, we asked him to sort it. I remember the freeze frame, the look on Mike's face, the look of mania, he had lost it and was grinning like a mad man. Later, Mark approached me and stretched out his bloody hand holding the access key, his hands were covered in blood and his eyes were glazed over like fresh frost on a newly frozen lake. He simply said "no one hurts her", then he walked away. We rectified the issue, risking higher humidity we flushed as many nutrients out as we could using plain water, then began feeding with half the dose. Praise Plant, she is doing better, her laughter, her mirth fills the void of my mind. Once I had infiltrated the belly of the beast, there were a few things that needed to be done in this week's work. First thing was some bending, Wendy had been teaching me her subtle arts, she told me the story of breaks at the cult, the vision of Mark's cold expression was stuck in my head, plant guide me. I defoliated some leaves to help light penetration and air circulation, my hands shook and worry filled me as the interaction with Mark replayed in my head again and again. Bamboo stakes were added to the side of the pot, this will be used as a support structure, Wendy told me that the flowers can get too big for the branch, so we need to support them as much as possible to make her happy. After this she got just a little water, not too much as we need her soil to dry out a bit. It was done, I was sweating, but I now felt more confident, full of hope that my fate would not be the same as Mike's. Before the week was done I decided to refill the CO2 augment bottles, so I added 6 dessert spoons of sugar to feed the yeast so they create CO2 for the plants, it isn't a huge amount, but it is better than nothing. The week came and went, each shift my journey to the biodome was shadowed by figures just out of sight, each day it seemed like they were getting closer but never within view. Who were these people? The rebellion was getting stronger, soon people from the security forces were beginning to give up, they saw it as pointless now that public support was growing for the cause. Bondage Barbara has become the figure head, she is the person most people look to, the cult of the purple Lemonade has transformed, it is now a Martian religion who worships the plants Mars has provided, waiting patiently for the message they bring from the ground. Waiting, wanting, hoping. Thank you people of pot, thank you beings of the bud, another week and another episode completed, we would of course like to thank Mars Hydro who supported this grow, remember, if you want to get higher than bezos's balls, grow with Mars Hydro. Join us next week for more "Tales from the Closet: The Laughing God of Mars", good night! Notes: welcome to the clip notes Defoliation, a bag of leaves were taken, during the same time I added bamboo sticks to hold up any drooping buds, did my last round of proper LST, the rest will just be maintenance. Seems to have worked in getting light in, but the humidity didn't drop too much. I've realised my madness got the better of me, started pushing the feeding hard, seemed like she was happy with it, until she wasn't, glad I noticed it early and got a second opinion from you lovely folks. Changed feeding and watering schedule after an 8 litre flush to test soil run off. That was fine. Water here is a nice 7.2ph feeding is around 6.2 or 6.3, it's going much better, love my PH reader. Refilled CO2 bottles with 6 dessert spoons of sugar, will be adding more on a more regular basis to push more CO2 out for bud development. This is pretty much it, with both defoliation nd changing the feeding schedule the Humidity is doing a lot better. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I try to include little things to thinkmabout in my stories, just to keep us all entertained.