TFTC: The Laughing Martian God

Welcome once again fellow Watchers of the Weed! Welcome to the next episode from our series “Tales from the Closet: The Laughing Martian God”, we hope you are excited for this next installment, but first, we would like to thank our partners Mars Hydro! Without them we would be stuck in the blurple days wasting energy and killing plants. Without Further ado, on with the show! It has been three weeks, three weeks and so much has happened. Have you ever felt so powerless, like you are on some sort of spinning ride at an amusement park, where at first it seems exciting, but it just keeps going faster and faster, this is the feeling I have now, now, as I watch the people mill about, as I watch some insane ritual they perform, where they feed the plant and bow chanting to the laughter, that insane laughter that somehow comes from everywhere at once to echo in your head, in your skull, in your brain. These last three weeks have been something I cannot begin to explain, but I will lay my story before you and hope that you in your sober state might help in fathoming some understanding of the insanity that my life lives in. Soon after that first feeding and planting more people began to arrive, they seemed to spend time looking in through the greenhouse windows of the biodome with a transfixed look of awe and wonder, many even had that hideous smile, it brought guilt over Bill, so when someone wore that hideous smile I would turn my face away lest I saw BIll with that shard of remote sticking out of him. A few days passed with the same ritual being performed, the environment was steady between 22c and 25c, humidity with lows of 45% and highs of 63% all of which seemed to make the plant happy as it slowly grew, then a very odd thing happened. Normally most people who came to see the plant dress similarly, in gardener clothing or robes, but when a man in a suit turned up, he looked very out of place. His name was Bob, he was a delegate from the Mars Assembly, a governing group of people who represent companies… they are not supposed to, but it has long been understood that each person was part of a massive corporation, so much so was this known that the people just called each party by the corporate sponsors name. He was a public servant, here to invite me to the assembly in the Capitol that was either called “Bransoville”, “Muskton” or “Bezopolis” depending on a person's view of history. It was known that a person did not refuse a summons, ever! The plant was left in the hands of my neighbor, this person would make sure that the rituals of watering happened to the correct frequency. So I was off to capitol City. I was scared, the entire journey on a speed train, my mind wondered whether they would return me to Earth to stand trial for the murder of my ex boss, or would they just lock me up here, maybe I should not have run, if I hadn’t none of this would have happened. The visit to the Capitol took longer than expected, it appeared that many wanted to meet me and ask their very own questions. Many from the same camp would ask the same question which struck me as odd that they wouldn't share information. My stay was comfortable with great food and drink, it reminded me how in the chaos of everything I had failed to take proper care of my body. After two weeks visiting and only getting brief updates on the plants, they brought me into the government chamber and stood me in front of everyone who was elected to represent the people of Mars. After a brief telling of my story for the benefit of those who hadn’t met with me previously, they explained that they had come to decide I would continue my work growing the plant and they cared little for Earth affairs. What worried me before leaving was that the Premier finished by saying “We will see what this Martian Plant will produce, for the good of Mars, let people visit, see and… worship how they please, we will be in touch”. When he said Worship, his mouth contorted into a frenzied smile, then I noticed most of the people in the chamber had the same twisted grin. There was no doubt in my mind that they intended to use this plant for whatever means benefited them most, this thought chilled me to the bone. I gave a shiver when walking out, knowing that their smiles and wild eyes would be following my back out the door. On the journey back my mind was wracked and I barely slept, every time my mind would drift off I would see again the smiles, and their smiles would turn into laughter, then each face would become BIll’s face, each one with a frenzy, each one wanting me dead, clawing with hands, tearing my flesh. I returned home exhausted, I returned to a horrible sight: People mourning, crying and wailing, my neighbor being taken care of with a head injury of some sort, the plant had grown immensely it appeared, however upon closer inspection I saw half of it lying on the ground, someone had cut it nearly in half, they had beheaded it. People cried and wailed, with wide smiles and tears streaming down their cheeks, they cried “our God, it is injured, nooooo”. My blood froze, I felt sick, I was sick. What was more terrible was that the Laughter was gone, and this scared me more than the smiling faces. Thank you to all our readers out there, our partners Mars Hydro and I would like to thank you for reading this installment of “TFTC: The Laughing Martian God”. Please remember to check out our sponsor's full range of top quality equipment. Farewell for now friends, and remember above all, have fun! HIghlights: I was on holiday, so here is what happened, over the last three weeks the plant was kept at 22-25c with 45-60% humidity. She grew a lot, more than I wanted in the time I was away so I topped her after returning. She then had 8 branches that I trained as well as possible. Feedish schedule followed my usual: feed day, water day, dry day cycle.