In the closet with two strains

Transplanted from cups to 15l fabric pots. Temp runs a little high which I've tried to counter by keeping the doors open, hard to do as we own cats. If anyone else has grown these two give me some tips please. Will begin LST in a day or two... or should I just do it now and roll all the shock of transplant and training into one? All thoughts and comments welcome, thank you! Note: germ was shot glasses for 24 hours then paper towel for 24 hours.

The week went well, my desire was to get LST done prior to flipping in week 4. LB is performing as expected with good node production, it took well to LST and will likely perform well with training, great things are expected after flipping. SaS is an odd one, rather spindly and will likely need added support. The nodes are lacking development, I'm hoping that the greater access to light will encourage this area. I am still using an alternating cycle of feeding one day then just water the next, I also use a mild cannacure mixture in a spray bottle every day to protect and foliar feed. In conclusion the goals of this week have been accomplished with only one concern in mind being SaS looking gaunt in comparison to LB, this however was to be expected when I set out with his grow. A decision looms: when to trim some of the lower leaves? My experience is that they die soon into flowering, so would like to prevent wasted energy. Any hints and tips people are willing to offer is much appreciated, I'm rather inexperienced as all my knowledge comes from reading and the guy in the shop. Thank you for reading my diary.

This week it was planned to tie and bend the plants into a nice even canopy and allow a nice even growth along the plant nodes to promote a better yield, during the week it was planned to flip to 12/12 and get the flower on, we will also experiment to find a better tie down method. First thing I wish to mention is that watering and feeding has steadily increased, I like to have regular wet and dry spells to reduce humidity build up and damp soil which can promote negatives such as pests and rot. Around once a week I will not water for a day, I call these dry spells where the plants gets minor stress that promotes root growth, which in turn helps the canopy. Following the first minor bends to try and break apical dominance, this week the bending and ties intensified. I experimented using binder clips on the side of the grow pot instead of canes which I had used before, previously I had also made holes in the pot but did not like this as it destroys the fabric. The clips were brilliant as they easily pull branches out and down, away from the main stem allowing light to penetrate to new growth. The flip to 12/12 did not happen, this was primarily due to SaS being a little on the underdeveloped side, possibly due to some trauma which occurred during transplant, or the hot early stages where heat was a factor. Since then SaS has come along well, my new worry is that LB's rampant growth will cause an issue for the small space. A few leaves were removed from the bottom of the plants, even though light penetration was increased, these leaves had served their purpose in early growth and now would just sap resources for little return, likely dying in the process. Week 4 will see the flip to 12/12, looking forward to seeing more growth. During this time I will continue to maintain an even canopy in the ways discussed, there will also be CO2 augmentation using fermentation bottles, this has been effective in the past. Overall I am happy with the grow so far, the only reason I held off the flip was because I love SaS, great strain, especially for problem solving. The binder clips and rubber ties work super well in helping train the plant, will not be using so many canes in future as they are a pain for moving the pots. Please feel free to give me tips and ask questions! Lots of love, me and the girls.

Hello darlings! This week in the magic closet, that we can all agree is better than Narnia (but with less child abuse), we planned on flipping the lights to 12/12, now the party can really get going. As such the feeding will likely need to increase, training will ramp up like Christmas as the stretch kicks in, and hopefully add a little Co2 supplementation from the mad scientist, who thinks he can do it on the cheap, stay tuned for this weeks episode! *cue the music As the lights go down for longer and the plants get to explore their sexuality, those blurple lights set the mood, what had more sexuality than a porn shop vibe. We went with 12/12 instead of 11/13 as DJ suggests as I find the more light means better growth. In the last couple of weeks growth, the lights might go DJs way to promote trichome production as less light degradation. Any gym rat will tell you that if you want to grow you gotta eat big, science! Fact!... BEEFCAKE! Now that the plants are beginning to stretch growth will continue to increase, to mimic this so will food and water go up, just makes sense. We are still doing a day of no water, cause my plant has to have the eye of the tiger! To compliment a good diet, you gotta put in the work, 100% science! Fact! #workhardsleepalot. Training will continue, I'm still looking for that perfect form for the plant, then all will be right in the world as the perfect buds can form. The canopy is pretty even, SaS is looking pretty, LB is looking scary. I will soon stop pulling out *boom boom tss, the branches I mean, stop pulling laterally and look for ways to support the vertical growth: this might be some sort of cane frame, I was a boy scout so I can lash something together that will probably collapse under the fans viscous torrent of wind. I hope to stop training in a few weeks as accidents can happen... maybe I should stop now... is there a support group for going cold turkey? Some defoliation happened as light is not making it through the mess of leaves that is LB. The Co2 goes like this, it is easy: big bottle of mineral water, pour 1/5th out, you do not need to cover in duct tape, I just like covering things in duct tape. Put some sort of tube in the cap by drilling a hole, add yeast (table spoon should be enough), add several table spoons of sugar, put in grow room and use a cane or something to funnel the Co2 through the tube on to canopy. Pro tip: Co2 is heavier than air so it will sink down, keep the tube above the leaves. EXTRA Pro tip: leave the bottles in a sink over night after making them, sometimes the yeast creates a ton of foam and this comes out the tube... not good on plants, very sticky, I lost a node this way. Thoughts: I will stop nitrogen supplements somewhere near halfway through bloom, I will in future experiment with the bottles once I have a CO2 reader. I need to stop messing with the plants soon. The light needs moved. I came across a bit of an issue where some of my leaves looked munched on, thanks to the community it has been discovered that it is too hot to spray with the lights on, since then it has been decided to spray when the lights go out, there is now an alarm on my phone. All spraying will cease in a week to prevent the buds from absorbing water and rotting. To conclude, with my experience being a gym rat and brewing my own alcohol, this week has been successful and fun, the plants are doing well which is all that matters. In future I might explain how you can brew some booze while growing weed, I call it the party combo. Until next week, be reckless, have fun and make memories! Happy gardening!

Here we are at the end of week 2, what a ride so far! We've laughed, we've cried and we've needed help. In this week the plan was to stop playing with my plants and let them grow, only doing the occasional tuck (definitely a meme here), also to start taking the ties off and instead help support weight for future buds. It has been two weeks since CO2 was introduced, so the yeast cultures will have eaten lots of sugars, meaning it is top up time. Flowers started appearing on SaS, this was what I expected, I am very excited as progress means prizes, the plant is progressing really well with better stem production than my first grow of this strain which was very whispy. LB is not really producing flowers at the moment but is still growing at an even rate, I think itmis determined to grow into a pile of leaves. Feeding has steadily increased, currently thought's are on whether watering and feeding should be less regular, but with greater volume to soak the substrate, this means less work but also an increase in humidity which is dangerous during flower as it can lead to mould. No one likes mould, fck mould! Please send your suggestions in on a post card, we are listening. As planned with the CO2 supplementation, more sugar was added, this will happen every two weeks, by the end of flower it will be around 20-30% alcohol, but with no flavouring will taste gross. I was performing a bend and wanted to get SaS main stem lower, then snap, you hear that scary sound like a ripe carrot snapping in half, I felt like my heart broke! The main stem had a snap in it, quickly I posted up on the question board and within minutes a number of people offered solutions, this is an amazing community! I taped the stem with sellotape and left it for a few days, then removed, as you can see in the pictures, tada! Fixed! I am now beginning to remove ties and let the canopy grow into flower, the only thing that will happen is tucking leaved out the way of buds. Things for future consideration would be supporting buds so they can get bigger, still haven't solved this. Also wanting to reduce temperatures during the night time which will help add some colour to the plants and bring out some nice purps. Week two went well, only hitch being the stem snapping, but this doesn't see, to have caused too many issues really, the plant looks healthy and is producing flowers. Looking forward to more bud production and upping the watering/feeding schedule. Sorry my posts are long, don't have many people to chat to about this lol.

Let me just calm down, I lost my last post... I write a lot, I dislike typing it again. Okay I'm calm. Welcome people of the cultivation world! It's time for a new episode of "In The Closet With Two Strains"... and yes I realise this should have been called "Two Strains One Cupboard", but there is always next time. This past week we had plans to untie the beasts and let them loose, fill up their soil at half time and we will join Jeff in the cabin for another short on bud watch, where we will pray to all that is unholy to give LB her buds. So Jeff how are those buds? Well after, much sacrificing, prayer and meditation, an answerr has been delivered, salvation reached, LB, has shown her flower. This talk is reminding me on prom night, awkward. It was literally the day after last entry when I whined about no flowers, she was like "fine, here it is" and yet more memories. She is around a week slower than Sas which is expected. So yay. Now over to bandage bob: Shortly after the celebration the plant ties were removed, yes, we unleashed the kraken!...s. SaS is doing great: rigid stems and a good upright growth. LB is a little on the skinny side, could have something to do with the fan being close to SaS which might have strengthened her through resistance. If you have tips on how to beef LB, please send them in on a postcard in the comments section. Back to Jobbie at HQ. Fellow cultivators: I had an idea for support, this would be the maypole plan, in this there would be the one existing cane with multiple ties holding up bud sites for support, LB and SaS will need this as they are hopefully gonna be big, so maybe in a couple weeks I shall experiment, you know... in May. Please pledge your support now and like this post! Don't let a noob starve. Now to soil Steve. Soil was topped up as there had been some degradation, I feel it helps with water retention, also when the water passes through it might grab nutrients from the new soil, as economics taught us that trickle down economics doesn't work with humans, I hoped it would with plants as they are not aholes. Back to you Jobbie. Lets bring on crisis specialist Jim as our next guest. Now Jim, tell us of the complications faced this week: well Jobbie, first and foremost, it is getting hot, already t-shirt weather is upon us and those damn blurple lights could cook an omelette, studies suggest CO2 might help, but I fear this will not be enough. The humidity also reached highs of 70%, now, I don't need to tell you of the Sour Diesel incident where top cola got mouldy.... it haunts my dreams, let us never forget! Thank you Jim, we are all haunted by those events. In conclusion... HAPPY 420! Hope all of you had a good time, me, well... that forest will never be the same again. This week was good, 20cm growth, bud sites appearing, thirsty plants, happy garden and a happy grower. Until next week, go crazy, have fun and don't get caught!

Welcome people of the ganja globe, welcome one and all to this week's episode of "In the Closet with Two Strains"! My name is Jobbie and I will be your host on tonight's episode. Coming up: we will catch up with Jeff and his big story on bud watch, we will talk to Weather Wendy about the current climate, also, do not miss the story about what happened to long time guest Bondage Bob, then we will be celebrating someones birthday by introducing the new guest reporter: Alcoholic Alex, after that we find out what happened to crisis Jim and our final guest will be long time friend of the show Yogi Boggie, where we discuss how to deal with anxieties. Stay tuned people for a fun filled show, tonight on "In the Closet with Two Strains". Firstly let's visit Jeff live in the bud room for a heavy Bud Watch: thank you Jobbie, and what a story we have today. I hope you all have your jackets on today as things are getting frosty, have no fears however as "Buddin Powell" knows how to build a bomb shelter out of leaves and a fire out of water, I also hope to ganja that other people get this reference, you know, Sapphire Scout, Scouts... like... seriously, I am spending my entire day watching buds form, it is literally slower than watching paint dry. Jobbie: And that will be enough from Jeff today, now on to Wendy Weather our Weather Wendy for an update on conditions: really Jobbie? That's my introduction? What a prick, bet it took you all night to think that up and then slept like a stoned baby believing you were a genius. Also Jeff is full of shit, it's a pleasant 25 degrees Celsius in there, with a nice wind keeping things moving, as we all know, CO2 drops to the bottom, so you need that fan to push it around like an ugly kid in the playground, Jobbie you remember that don't you? Jobbie: *audible swallow of emotion. Thank you Wendy. Now after that rather rough reminder, here is another one, I have recently gotten another year older, a lot of you probably don't wonder how I spend my birthday, and if you do, that is sad, and if you know how then that is just worrying, please stop watching me in my boxers through the window of my ground floor apartment. To help celebrate, let me bring on our new guest reporter, yes you know him, it is Alcoholic Alex! Alcoholic Alex: too kind! You are too kind. Tonight we will be doing the classic combination of whisky and weed. This combination is great as the whisky makes you feel like a man, and the weed restrains that feeling just enough so you don't beat your wife. If any of you are thinking Jack Daniels, then there is the door, don't use it, instead walk up to the top of this 4 story building and jump, it won't kill you, just cripple you... hopefully. We will go to Scotland for this tipple, try Talisker, it's smooth and smokey which is perfect to go with a nice fat smoke. It is fine to add a little water, but a mixer will get you stabbed. Jobbie: ah! Tastes like manly times! Now let us find out what happened to Bondage Bob. This people of the Weed world is a big and important story, Bondage Bob is now Bondage Barbara, so please welcome Barbara to the show! Bondage Barbara: after we set the plants free and removed their restraints, I felt there was something in me that needed this freedom, like women's breasts in the 70s, I just had to let loose and be free. So after some soul searching, I realised that my inner self needed to be expressed on the outside, so from now on I will be transitioning to female, deep down this has always been me. Jobbie: is the bondage still a thing? BB: ffs Jobbie, my birth gender is getting a transplant, not my brain. Jobbie: so how are the plants? BB: same as last time, free, like my soul, but don't worry, I have ideas. Now let us find out what happened to Jim? He is no longer with us, we cannot disclose what happened for... legal reasons, but allow me to introduce crisis Karen, our new crisis correspondent. It can be officially recognised that we are at the end of the humidity hype, after a kind community contributer jumped in with some sage advice, we have now created more availability for air to be cycled through the grow space, which allowed more air and humidity to be shifted. Thank you everyone, thanks to your donations we have reached an average of 55% humidity today with a low of 50%. Now the grow room is not as wet as Jim's.... Jobbie: thank you Karen, more on that later. Now here is yogi boggie for help in dealing with those harvest blues. Do you suffer from the harvest anxiety, from the pain and longing of the age you wait for harvest to arrive? Well fret no longer, take each day as it comes and set your mind to the three tasks of mind, body and soul, your body and soul might already be in what you are doing, but your mind will be lacking engagement, so use this time to plan for the future. Jobbie: thank you boggie, that was... well it felt like a cult of lawyers. But we appreciate the segment. On next week's episode we will be looking at decreasing humidity further and bringing those frosty Weather fronts into the grow tent so the leaves turn purple, we will discuss more of what to do with various parts of the plant. We will probably face some new crisis and likely drink more booze and smoke weed. This week's episode has been great, thank you for all my birthday wishes. Together we have helped solve a crisis, we have helped set someone's inner self free, we have potentially put a sick bastard in jail that I can neither confirm or deny used to work on this show, and, as always, we have continued to grow weed! So from us to you, have fun, go crazy and don't get caught! Good night!

People of the ganja world on which we live, come one, come all, come together, come alone in your bed, but most importantly, come consensual. It's time for another episode of "In the Closet with Two Strains" with your host, Jobbie! Thank you everyone, thank you. Welcome to another installment, it's week 9 and the 5th week of flowering, here is what we have to look forward to on this week's show: We will be back with Jeff on budwatch to see what's going on with those... well, buds obviously, then to Steve who has taken a break from soil to be safety Steve. Now because we have hit the middle of flowering... and little happens so we need to fill a segment, we will run a small competition, thats right, you could win a prize... it isn't great but more on that later. After that we will have the forecast with weather Wendy and get some zen with Yogi boggie. All on tonight's episode! First on tonight's episode, let's join Jeff in the bud room: Thank you jobbie, things are getting bigger, especially for SaS who is beefing up nicely, although, why are they not stacking as nicely, also why is LB not beefing up as much, and are they really getting big? I mean we are pushing nutes as much as possible, do we need more CO2? I'm freaking out jobbie, so back to you! Someone obviously did not listen to Yogi Boggie last week, now to soil... I mean safety steve: Yes, my role has changed, I wonder if it is because I am a genius or... or... the studio can't afford more staff so just pressured me to do another role, what a lack of imagination. We will be looking at the tips today, the ones that as you see in the pictures started going yellow, so we used the community for a few tips of theirs to get us back on track. The issue appears to be a little too much nutrients in the feed, so we have scaled back a little, will use more water with mild calmag to try and help use up the nutrients stored. This will hopefully clear it up soon. More importantly, why are we not freaking out about the size of buds, or why humidity keeps going... Now with special broadcast from Crisis Karen: What the hell is going on! We need more progress, we should be chopping things off and adding more things like nutrients, but don't hurt the plants and certainly don't stress them out, is the soil okay? Is it driving too fast, did it not drain there? I opened the tent the other day and something flew across the light! WE HAVE AN INFESTATION! IT IS ALL DOOMED! Jobbie: so this is what mid flower anxiety is like, good to know. Now, it is time for the competition! We know this is what you have been waiting for, we know this is what we want, we know this is how you like it... This week's competition winner will win........ a follow and a like for every post on a current or past journal, yes, you will get more attention! About the competition: I do not smoke tobacco and prefer not to smoke blunts, so recently I have been using tobacco alternatives, four of which I am now growing in my garden outside, so if you go to picture 8, tell me what each of the plants are from left to right, the person to guess the most wins a follow and a like for each post in a journal, good luck and ganja speed little doodle! Now on to Weather Wendy for this week's weather update: Thank you Jobbie, let me just start off by saying that prize is as disappointing as you in bed. People of ganja planet, here is your weather report; the temperatures are steady between 20 and 25 degrees Celsius, humidity has been high, but this could be due to drying clothes in the same room as the tent, might need to get a better dehumidifier as the temperature continues to go up in summer. There is a nice breeze coming in from the south which has helped, this has been created by the magic of a "bigger fan" and learning the art of "opening the window", more on that next week, back to Jobbie. Always a pleasure Wendy... well, for me anyway. Now after all of this week's chaos and excitement, we turn to Yogi Boggie for some zen: Thanks man! I always appreciate your kind words. Let me remind you that things come and go, that the panic you are feeling is all because your mind is not occupied by anything other than the same standard practice week in and week out, after this week we should all take comfort in the fact that this community is behind each and every one of us, when you need them, they will be there. Try releiving some stress by augmenting your daily habits with things like guided meditation and yoga, all of these will help stave off anxiety, anything which promotes self improvement and oneness in your body will help you relax through life's changes, whether they come slow or fast. Thank you Yogi, as we all know, mine always come fast. Thank you everyone who took part, it has been an episode full of meddness, but through the spell of madness we have all come out better people, with renewed determination to grow better weed! On next week's show we will be doing a home improvement special where we discuss ideas for improving and upgrading the grow space. So until next time, be crazy, have fun and grow ganja! Good night!

Hello people of this ganja spinning world and welcome to this week's episode of "In the Closet with Two Strains"! We have an amazing episode brought to you by your host with the most... disreputable name, it is Jobbie! Thank you Ganja people! Thank you people of the world who are kind, generous and probably unsure of what date and time it is right now. Let's talk about the entertainment we have lined up for you this episode: we will check in with Weather Wendy (not her real name or hair colour), then a journey to Jeff in the Bud watch, to find out how big he likes those buds, his segment will be followed by the wonderful and intimidating Bondage Barbara, after safe words are used we will sort out the mess with our very own Crisis Karen, then to top it off we will have a drink with Alcoholic Alex, after this episode, we will probably need it! Most importantly, at the end of the show we will be announcing the winner of last week's competition to name those plants! Without further prattle, take it away Wendy! Hello Ganja globe, here is your weather update for the grow room with me, Weather Wendy: temperatures have been experiencing highs of 28 degrees Celsius at the hight of the day, this has been followed by lows of 22 degrees in the dead of night, we have been enjoying high winds due to the larger fan being put up to speed setting two, opening the windows and tent door has allowed this hot air to be released on a regular basis, like Jobbie after too much cheese. The humidity is ranging from 47% to 68%, with its highest point being during the night, we would ask any suggestion for keeping this low be posted in the comments. Thank you for tuning in, remember, good weather is good ganja. Jobbie: not entirely sure that is correct, but... Wendy: not sure that is your real hair. Jobbie:... now on to Jeff in bud watch! Take it away Jeff! The buds are getting bigger, I think, it is hard to tell, one great thing about this platform is that we can look back over history and see the progress we have made... all before we cut it all down and burn it. With only 3 - 5 weeks left before both plants are harvested it is good to see the brown coming through, that all the sites are fattening up, although, they have now began to get so fat that we might need to call in the best of bondage, the temptress of ties, the... Jobbie: we will be hearing from Bondage Barbara... sorry but Jeff wants my job. Thank you and I hate you, all I desire to to be let loose on the cast. Alas, my job is to tie up plants, not humans... yet. Jeff is correct, those big thick buds are oh so heavy, so it is time to strap them into that pole and have them supported so they can bring in the harvest. To do this we used rubber coated wire ties to attach them to the pole... much like the spokes of a torture wheel, also it being may this is the May pole dance... which I don't need to tell you of its phallic origins! However, we might need some help, when we were trying to squeeze the big flowers back in, two girls got their buds twisted and one stem got bent, no safe words were uttered, accidents just happen, but we will need to call... Jobbie: Crisis Karen, we need to call her... everyone wants my job, I just wish people wanted my... Karen: dick, yes my husbands name is Richard... oh we are on, well I told you this is what happens when people play with it too much, it breaks or you go blind. No reason to panic Janet, from our own analysis it is not as bad as you think, the stem's skin did not break, so we wrapped some rubber wire around the stem to give it support, this should easily mend over time with little risk of infection. Just be careful from now on. Jobbie: Thank you Karen, you are a pain in the ass but useful at times. After all that stress it is time to take a load off with Alcoholic Alex, chin chin! Thank you Jobbie, like fine scotch, always a pleasure. Firstly, we had some business to take care of, those CO2 producers won't take care of themselves, being the only person on the show with brewing experience it has fallen to me to feed those cultures of yeast and make alcohol. Would not drink this, it would be disgusting, however, after four spoonfuls of sugar added, it is still undrinkable. Luckily we just need it for the by product of CO2. This week's drink suggestion is Kraken Rum: it is dark, it is spiced, it goes great with weed. Try it with some ginger ale and a splash of lime on the rocks and enjoy the pirate life! Thank you Alex, now without further ado, it, is, time! What time you ask? To announce the WINNER! Last week we asked you to name the tobacco alternatives we are now growing, we were inundated with Two entries and can proudly announce, the winner of a follow and many likes is Chow_13! Congratulations on having the most correct guesses. The plants from left to right were: cat nip, purple sage, mango sage and culinary sage! All of which I cannot wait to try! Well this week has been a blast, we have enjoyed good weather, fixed issues due to them fat buds and gotten a little more wasted with Alex. Next week we hope to tackle the question of grow space optimisation: we have a 120cm x 60cm x 150cm cupboard and trying to make the most of it. Any suggestions let me know. Thank you everyone for your participation and the time you generously give when reading this diary, it is a pleasure to write and we look forward to next week on "In the Closet with Two Strains"! Good night!

Good morning, good afternoon or good evening, wherever you are tuning in from we say hello and welcome to this week's episode of "In the Closet with Two Strains"! We thank you for your patience in waiting for this week's episode, we got wasted on a beach, so this took a back seat. Alas however, have no fear as your host who likes to boast is here, it is Jobbie!! Thank you once again, it is so good to be here, that beach was something else! This week's show is a treat, not in the fact that it is jammed full of interesting information, more, that you should just be grateful. This week we will be visiting Wendy Weather for our report on the highs and lows of tent life, then we will visit with Jeff in the bud room to get a sneak peak at budwatch, then we have the first of two new special guests, we will have... Dave, eh, Dave the Dish? Sure that will be fun, we will stop by Barbara's dungeon to find how out how the plants are holding up and lastly, we will visit with our extra special guest Brenda the Builder to see if she can fix up some grow room ideas. All this and more, in this week's episode of " In the Closet with Two Strains". First, let us visit with our lady of the Weather, it is Wendy! Thanks Jobbie, shit as ever to see you. To describe this week in the tent as warm would be like describing Jobbie as a minor threat to women. It is getting hot and there has been some minor signs of curling leaves, with highs of 29 Celsius and lows of 22, we can confirm scientifically, it is stupid hot. Even with the window open it is still hot, the fan is just there to look pretty and help take the edge off, but it is like drinking bud light when you should be drinking Vodka. So we ask you, good people of the grow community, anyone have a good recommendation for an ac unit to cool down a tiny grow room? In good news, humidity is down from the high 50% mark to the low 40s during the day, going up around 10% or so during the night, silver linings must be sought, now back to Jobbie so he can do nothing to help the grow and take all the credit. Jobbie: just like every good boss. Now over to our friend Jeff in the bud room with our favourite update. Thanks Jobbie, everything in here is getting fat and smelly, including me! Honestly cannot remember the last time I showered, or was allowed to leave, they are not nice to me, or do I just not leave out of my own choices, are we surrounded by choices or just choices already made from previous encounters with phenomena which funnels us to this point. Either way, I should really go see natural light but sometimes I just find myself staring at the plants, almost expecting them to miraculously finish. Jobbie: Yes, yes, can we get him some help, at least some sleep... or a woman. Preferably after a bath. Now the moment we have all been waiting for, well at least since reading his name off the autocue, it is Dave the Dish. Thank you Jobbie, you are ever so kind, they call me Dave the Dish because I'm tastey and... well I'm white and round. This week we have been mostly feeding the plants a lightnfeeding, some might say even starving them a little, however, if you are getting ready for harvest, no one wants to go home with a girl who is over heavy or saturated by nutrients, so to keep them in top form we have slowed feeding down and often withheld watering if we think they are being a little unruly, after all, you treat them mean you keep them kean. Jobbie: wow, if I'm finding that to be sexist then I wonder what Barbara thinks... so we shall ask her. Barbara: I'd be willing to do the time, just let me at him. Aside from homicidal tendencies, things are holding up well, the girls are tied to the poles and no one has screamed any safe word, on top of that we took the opportunity for a haircut, not my specialty but I will learn more once we have more willing victims. What do you think Jobbie, interested? Jobbie: I wouldn't let you near my hair if... We all know it's fake. Jobbie: and that is none of anyone's business. Now on to our next new guest, whom we hope will not be joining Dave in the unemployment line. It is time for Brenda the Builder! When it is time for an overhaul of your grow tent, because that unicorn ducttape isn't actually holding your tent together after the butchers job Jobbie did of repurposing an old big tent, we need to look into a new option, also, blurples, im pretty sure they are giving Jeff a tan. We have a 120x60x150cm cupboard, a 600watt blurple and an extractor built for over double that size. The tent is fairly simple, we are looking cheap but effective, unless anyone can explain why we would buy a super expensive one. The important thing is lights, there are a few that cover the area, there are also smaller ones that if we buy two will cover the area, thought's on: migro and lumitek? There was also one on the Migro website from maxsun or some such that was on sale. Thought's? Could really use some help. Thanks. Jobbie: and with that third plea for help we will close the show, thank you for taking part, we really do appreciate any and all help because I am as indecisive as I am attractive... Next week tune in for some DIY news on cooling the tent and some thoughts on that grow space. Also, photoperiod or autoflower? What should be try to maximise our space? Thank you once again, take care folks, until next time on "In the Closet with Two Strains", I'm your host Jobbie. Stay safe, wear protection and remember to learn to cook! Good night.

Tonight we have an urgent breaking story brought to you by Jobbie: Greetings fellow ganja growers, here I am with a breaking, ground shaking story from "In the Closet with Two Strains"! Today is two weeks ago and tomorrow might likely be last week. The bounds of physics are bent in this stupid way to cover up that my laziness has led to me being a week behind. Weather Wendy: well that's just lazy, it has taken you how long to come up with this? Jobbie: all day, and don't bitch, genius doesn't just come over night you know! Weather Wendy: nope, usually takes much less time for "genius' to come. .... Anyway, things are progressing in the grow room, although we are hoping that bud wash will get some of the cat hair out. Thank you for tuning in to this super fast special episode. Stay tuned for a major announcement next week/tomorrow/maybe later. Thank you and good night! Not my finest post, but next week there are things in the pipeline.

People of every place on the gender spectrum! Come one, come all, come and see the show you have all been waiting for, the talk of the Internet... well among like 3 people. Come and see the fantastic show we have planned for you this magical week. After a short hiatus due to...*cough, monitory issues, we are back to entertain you again! This week, we have a news segment read to you by the anchor of this show, and not just because he is holding us all back, the one, the only, Jobbie! After the announcements we will stop in to see Jeff on Bud watch, where we will find out what is happening in our favourite and only room. Then we will visit the King of diet and nutrition, though you would never know it, yes, Dave the Dish will take us through what the plants have been eating. Our friend Weather Wendy will blow through to explain the weather patterns to us. Lastly we will have a visit from the very special Yogi Bogie! Without further ado, let us get on with week 14 of "In the Closet with Two Strains"... wait a second, four weeks veg, ten to eleven weeks flower... WHAT THE HELL IT IS ALMOST... Jobbie: thank you mysterious voice from on high whom we have not ever identified and is likely replaced often without anyone knowing. My name is Jobbie and here is your news this evening, morning, afternoon or night. We were going to be announcing the new show, it was going to be spectacular, however, due to my over excitement and just general stupidity, the stars of thisnupcoming drama are now dead, OGKZ, if you are up there, we are sorry, you were meant to live a full life of stardom, but mistakes were made such as planting too early before they had sprouted properly. Ofc I am forced to say this by the lawyers after we had to pay huge amounts of money out to the families. In other news, we are sorry to bring you the announcement of a dear friend of the show having to move on from the cultivation world, AsNoriu will be missed by many due to his insight, kindness and brilliant journals, we hope he comes back soon. With all this sadness it is time for some hope, we will be releasing a new show soon as the seeds are in the glass, this new studio, due to... financial complications and a lack of faith in me, will be managed and directed by Bondage Barbara. So stay tuned for this thrilling ride. Lastly in the news today, it is almost harvest time! FINALLY! And with that we will cut to Jeff in the budroom for an update! How's it looking in there buddy? Jobbie it is looking good, thank you! Buds are big and smelly, the way we all want them. One slight irregularity we have noticed however is that some of the buds have a spherical pattern to the shape, with almost a ball like consistency much like a raspberry, ofc, the thing we all wonder is that if it has balls, is there a dick? If anyone is a dick spotting or ball observer please let us know if we have messed this up. We all remember the last time we got trapped in a tight space with a hermi... will never be the same again. Jobbie: I shudder to think so please, stop there. Now on to nobodies favourite character, it is Dave the Dish. Thank you Jobbie, don't know what crap you said to me as no one listens when you speak. After the last few weeks of fattening, yes ladies and gents, with harvest looming we pushed the nutes, maybe a little too hard, but we all want the fattest of fat buds, top heavy plants with stick thin stalks that are anatomically impossible and leads to a life of back ache, just for our pleasure. Now that the last bulk is done, they will go back to starving as nature intended, to remind remind of their imminent deliciouse demise. Jobbie: thanks for that reminder, I need to get new health insurance... and if we had money a new cast member to replace Dave. After that shocking and rather unhealthy experience for us and the plants, it is now time for Wendy to update us on the weather. Well it is hot, not as hot as what Barbara told me would be happening to this studio... for one I cannot wait to see what she has planned for Dave. The humiliation... I mean humidity is at safe levels but the heat once again is an issue and is likely the cause for the current state of the plants, just if I could find a decent weather front to bring in from a cooling device, please let me know what would be a good swap cooler, thank you. Now back to Jobbie who lacks the spherical proportions of the plants. Jobbie: I have no idea what that means... so Wendy, can you tell me what Barbara has in store for me? Wendy: haha, she is going to make you the woman you were always born to be. Jobbie: well that's, eh, nice of her. Moving swiftly on, it is time for Yogi Bogie with some words of encouragement to calm my... our anxiety. Everything in life should be seen as a journey, each journey has a unique set of circumstances that will shape the entity who travels on that path. If you look at plants or animals, they are a combination of all the factors that over their journey have made them up, you can see the nutrients and experiences that have helped them grow, the ones that have damaged them and the events that may have broken them or made them stronger. When coming to the end of any journey it is important to savoir the final few steps, as this journey will never be taken again, it will always be a different experience, so take care, breath in and breath out, finish the journey! Thank you Yogi, as always we enjoy your sage and rather odd advice. Cannot wait to see what Barbara does to him. Well folks that is all, we have fattened up those buds, we have fought the elements themselves, the time draws near and we are all filled with excitement. Next week, look out for the first episode of our new show as this one winds down and soon we will be saying good bye for the last time in this studio. To all the people of the ganja globe, have a great time and get high! Clip notes: temperatures are high, constantly have fans running to keep cool, some of the buds have a ball like formations on them, hoping to push across the finishing line and harvest next week, new show is coming up after I completely screwed up the last germination.

Friends of the earth, lovers of weed all around this world, come together one and all for this week's episode of "In the Closet with Two Strains!". This week on your favourite show we will following that final march on towards harvest, accompanied by special guests Jeff from bud watch who will be keeping a trained eye on trichomes, we will also check in with the lovely weather wendy to give us the highs and lows, Dave the Dish will be telling what has been on the plants menu and lastly will be a talk with Alcoholic Alex who has a new beverage to try. Now comes the time you have all been waiting for, here is your host who loves to boast, heeeeerreeees Jobbie! Thank you thank you! It is a pleasure to be here with all of you, I know we promised more frequent shows, but it takes time to make great things happen... and more importantly money, which would explain why this is so bad! If time is money then money would be time, which is why I have neither of the two! Have no fear as there are plans in the works to improve all situations. Without further ado, on with the show as it is time for "In the Closet with Two Strains". Firstly let us visit with Jeff in the bud room, how's it hanging their buddy? Low and droopy Jobbie, much like the buds, yes it is late into the grow and sadly the weather is just so damn hot, due to this the buds are puffing out a little and the stalks are not strengthening the way we wish which is why they are dropping slightly, luckily Barbara has done a wonderful job in securing the buds better than jobbie with spare cash, she truly is the mistress of the ties! The buds are nearing the end, the trichomes are going cloudy which means soon it will be the day we have all been waiting for... well, all of us aside from the plant. Back to the studio as I continue to watch buds. Thank you Jeff for that informative segment, our thanks goes out to Barbara who is currently away on holiday... I've seen the pictures, I'm jealous. Now, over to Weather Wendy, tell us Wendy, is this weather issue Jeff tells us about, is this something to be concerned about and what are you doing about it? What can I do Jobbie? Your budget is about as filling as your promises of announcements or promises of good sex. Jeff is correct, things are a bit too warm at the moment, it is difficult to keep things cool, the apartment is 25c, outside is 25c so the tent is 28 or more. To cool something you need something cold to bring the temperature down, we were using ice packs in the tent but that was literally as useful as a water gun in the Sahara. Much like with climate change it all comes down to money, if you want to see a change you need to put money, or time in that direction. Now back to Jobbie who has little money and couldn't direct a someone down a straight street. Thank you Wendy, once again it is pick on me day, but soon as per usual it will be happy hour and black out drunk night. Before then let us visit the man we can't get rid of, likely because he is immovable. It is the man with moist clothes, the man with protection by law from being fired, it is Dave the Dish! Much appreciated skinny, I might be big but at least I'm not mistaken for the straw man. Now, on with the important bit, as I've said, ladies need to be big in the right areas, to do this we fattened them up, now the ladies need to trim the bad parts off, I love the fact that they are now so skinny from starvation the buds can't be held up, big buds and skinny stalks, that's what their diet is for! Now back to the skeleton man. If anyone should know about massive buds it would be double D over there... Dave the Dish. Now on to one of the best segments, it's Alex with our drink of the week! Yes it is time! It is almost last orders at the bar and you need to get your buzz back, you have an unknown entity on your arm that you picked up when in a far more drunken state,, so you need to make it count as most bars won't allow you to buy three drinks, so instead you order a triple! My recommendation is Red Stag with ginger ale and a slice of lime. It's spicy, sweet with a zesty twist! Perfect for summer weather! And cheap, much like regrets. Thank you Alex, I am now thirsty but need to drive, once I'm im in the bar however you can bet I'll be ordering a triple, as in three glasses of that cause this place drives me to it, sometimes the abuse is just too much. Soon friends it will be time to harvest, soon we will be able to see what will come of a very complicated grow, it has been hotter than hell which has caused us problems, together however, we will cross the finishing line. Next week, is it reaper time? We will be discussing the harvest we hope, also we will meet with Yogi Bogie to explain life cycles. Until we meet again on this show, your favourite "In the Closet with Two Strains", keep cool by getting high, having a drink and swimming in frigid pools... on that note I think Wendy is drunk again. Good night! Quick notes. It is very hot, we are feeding the plants water and a little calmag, they are a bit droopy but alas soon we harvest!

Wrapping things up here in the studio, first down was Sapphire Scout. Thankyou for all the lovely words of encouragement, thank you to the team. As we lay this plant to rest in the drying room let me, your host Jobbie, take you through its final days. She led a good few final days, ending her life around 15 weeks since she was given water to begin her journey, in this time she grew up strong, but not without issues, we watched her struggle at many stages including the overfeeding that plagued her middle age. In the last few weeks she was peaceful, growing heavy and smelling... fruity, like fruit soda, she was loved by all in the home and was watered plenty. In her last moments the restraints where taken off and she fell her ass over, buds flopped around like a granny with no bra. Then the end came. She was taken to the mortuary once the chop happened and was washed and raised in the true fashion of a butchers yard to dry off. After this, she was sealed in a room to dry out before going on to the next place in space and time... likely a jar. Follow us next episode where we learn of our friend Laughing Buddhas last gasps of breath. Until then, so long Budding Powell, so long! Good night!

People of the ganja world, here we are, he second plant has gone down, we apologise to anyone affected by PTSD from the two towers, it was not our intention to harm you with the similarity. Our Buddy Buddha from the start to the end lived its life next to Powell, they were close! Now that the final curtain has been drawn.. or tent flap, it is with a sad heart that we at the "In the Closet with Two Strains" Studio will be saying goodbye. She was never the most impressive plant, kept feeling like she would bloom more but the conditions were never truly right for her. Both plants had their branches sliced at the stem and large leaves removed, this purposely slowed drying down to maximise end flavour. They were both washed in cleaning pools to prepare them for their final journey in the tent. With a sad heart we wish you farewell Buddy, we will see you and Powell soon... IN OUR SMOKE REPORT! Yes it is time to get these ladies dried and ready to serve their purpose, life is a party, so let us have one! See you soon folks!