TFTC: The Laughing Martian God

Welcome my ganja ghouls, welcome once again to my Closet, let me take all of you lovely people on a journey to Mars courtesy of Mars Hydro. Once we arrive we will rejoin Jobbie and his plant. Let us find out what happens next, last week we had good news with the rescue of our hero, but the apparent demise of his rescuer and of course his timely intervention saved his Godly plant from starvation: the ground shook with pleasurable mirth from the feeding and many were amazed. So let us find out what has happened in the closet since then! It has been three weeks (yes, time to break the 4th wall, it has been three weeks, time to get a schedule and quit my job, second job and sports), I know, I've been lazy. My entire focus has been ripped in so many directions, it feels like my mind has been torn by the wind of a tornado, with parts scattered every which way: once I heard the news we rushed to see what had happened, we arrived too late and found only a burned out wreckage, surrounding it were the many footprints of reporters and security services, it felt like all hope was lost. But what of her plant? What of the cult? We went to New New Old Amsterdam only to find a crowd of people standing outside, there was a ring of security services surrounding the club and in the gloomy window hung the dismembered plant. The Government had killed the plant because of me, I was sick. We stayed for a few nights to make contact, with anyone we could, but it seemed everyone was in a misery trance, they were all still shaken from the events they had witnessed. No one knew what was going on, only that there was to be a burning of the plant soon, and everyone was expected to attend. During our time away we kept contact with the underground network looking after the plant, we even managed to smuggle Alex in to refill out CO2 tanks, we still have no idea how that Alcoholic did it. At the burning ceremony I saw upon the podium the mastermind behind the evil deed, Dave stood there, radiant and triumphant, reveling in the disdainful deeds him and his lackeys carried out. The burning began, with it purple smoke surrounded everyone, then as one their eyes opened red and awake. It was the end of Dave, it was the end of the corporations meddling in that city. The face, the person that now took the pulpit after the overthrowing, none other than my saviour back from the dead, it was Bondage Barbara! After a week to help out we returned to New Los Angeles. It appeared that the light had changed a week ago, now the sun was at 80% but only shone for 12 hours a day, the plant seemed to react in a strange way, it grew taller and developed what Barbara had told me were strange alien flowers. My God was growing, developing, she almost filled the entire biodome, reaching higher, bigger, reaching for the sun in some form of worship we could only hope to fathom. We had instructed our spies to make sure her feeding regiment continued, we also had someone called Bendy Wendy smuggled in to do some magic bending, she tied the plant up in the most delicate and sensual way, opening my Laughing agod up to the light she craved so much. She said the plant would also need stakes to support big buds later, whatever did she mean by that? The feeding was intensified, more food and water for this God of Mars, over this period she ate and drank well fasting for the growth. She continued to grow, more and more, was this a god or a monster? Do all gods need to be also feared? The events of NNOA (New New Old Amsterdam, got tired of typing it out) shook the planet, every news broadcast talks of more unrest, the laughter in my brain starts up, the rebellion that the Purple Lemonade Cult started makes my God happy, were they somehow working together, or is it the plant has other plans in store. During this period of plant growth my God fed, my God grew and my God Laughed. It is beginning to scare me that this plant seems to know me so well, yet I know so little about it. Will we one day understand the plant's purpose, much like the cult got the Purple Lemonade message, will the Laughing Martian God let us know what is happening, what is its message? Thankyou Fiends of the Funky Fern, it appears that there is a mystery afoot, or is it aroot? What are the plants doing? What happened to the people of NNOA? What will the Government do next? Where is Earth in all this? Find out some answers of the plant allows it, next week thanks to Mars Hydro: start a revolution in your house today! Thank you and good night! Notes: three weeks of stretch, she grew a bit up and mostly out, the entire tent is pretty full now. Temperature is a little hot, but when growing in a Closet you have to expect heat… also my partner keeps the heating on, my extractor fan is a legend. The Light is now on full blast and going strong, the plant loves it! Over the three weeks feeding has gone crazy, she now drinks 4 litres when fed, feeding is 5 days a week then rest on the weekend for a dry time. Stakes were added as a place to help tie branches and give the canopy a decent shape so more light can reach more buds, a lot and a lot of ties were used. Shits getting real. The buds are tight and growing well, I'm excited to see how this develops the buds are tighter than normal, I like the branches not being too long but with plenty of bud sites. Well, see you next week!